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Saturday 24 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today my boyfriend and my best friend had a very lengthy, detailed conversation about Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, of which I know nothing about. Once they stopped, I looked at him and smiled, and he responded with, "Why can't you be more like her?" FML

#20183421
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26472) - you deserved it (7938)

On 11/28/2012 at 11:33pm - love - by JStein (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

#20171802
166 comments

Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML

#20175626
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26135) - you deserved it (2977)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by jakeson12 - United Kingdom (Dundee City)

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me. When I explained the situation to the "other guy", he exclaimed that I was lying because I was jealous and trying to ruin his relationship. He punched me in the face. FML

#20177730
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25995) - you deserved it (2476)

On 11/25/2012 at 3:09am - love - by king400 - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML

#20186136
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25839) - you deserved it (2270)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:59am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML

#20186585
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25644) - you deserved it (2570)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a shopper approached me at Target and said, "So are you just gonna stand there to look pretty and do nothing around here?" I ignored his comment, until he got so upset that he wanted to speak to my manager. It would have been understandable if I actually worked there. FML

#20177780
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25360) - you deserved it (1814)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, this really big woman asked me for some cigarettes. I didn't have any, which made her angry. Angry enough to pick me up, stuff me in a dumpster, and sit on the lid. I still smell like garbage. FML

#20183027
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25284) - you deserved it (1907)

On 11/28/2012 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML

#20176033
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25189) - you deserved it (1766)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Read The Fine Print - United States (California)

Today, my parents told me that they had joined a local club. Proud of them for going out of their comfort zone to make new friends, I googled the name of the club. I'm sure they'll make some lifelong friends at their first swingers club meet. FML

#20179494
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25027) - you deserved it (2706)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML

#20180075
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24990) - you deserved it (2337)

On 11/26/2012 at 6:11pm - misc - by ronboy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML

#20177257
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24948) - you deserved it (1750)

On 11/24/2012 at 9:35pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

#20172481
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24911) - you deserved it (5499)

On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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