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Today On An Important Call With A Potential Employer He Began To Speak Quieter And Quieter Until I Couldn't Hear Him At All!! When I Finally Hung Up After Waiting Fir 5 Minutes I Realized That I Had Been Pressing Down On The Volume Button!! FML
Today... I called Costco to ask them not to renew mah membership because of financial problems. The man on the phone spent 30 minute telling me y I'm a fool to leave and I ended up with a renewed $55 membership and 25 minute over mah minute allowance. FML
Today, I was out clubbing,hen I saw a pair of very cute grls sitting at the looool bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself . I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls . I quickly got thrown out 4 "harassing the ladies." FML
Today, someone posted photos from a party I was at. On each photo I'm posing in with a grl, my hand is not touching her, but is hovering over her like some creepy werdo loser. My Facebook nickname is now of course "Hover Hand." mega FML
Today, ma friend and I were playing trut or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so tey dard me to run nakd into ma neigbor's yard wile yelling, "Help! Te pixie looool took ma penis!" I ran screaming rigt into tere big family reunion.
Today... my room-mates were inspird by a TV show to make a "douchebag jar"... intohich looool we have to put money every time we say something obnoxious. It seems like I can't open my mouth without having to cough up £10. FML
today my dad groundd me 4 two weeks 4 profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing he actually acceptd my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost my grounding period would double. We playd. He kickd my ass. FML
Today, I'm Recovering In The Emergency Room. How Did I Get Here? Intoxicatd At A Cod Party, I Saw A Hole In The Host's Shd And Thought It Funny To Christen It A "glory-hole", Only To Be Bitten By Wat May Well Have Been A Black Widow Spider. Big Fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015