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Friday 23 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, mah boyfriend broke up with me because I'm now about 15 pounds overweight!! When I calld him a hypocrite as he's over 40 pounds overweight, he said that his weight didn't matter because "it's the girl's job to look hot." FML

#20171204
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31192) - you deserved it (4643)

On 11/20/2012 at 4:57pm - health - by thinner than you (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today , I ran into mah sister,ho nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

#20179890
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31078) - you deserved it (3544)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm - misc - by Teddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today , mah girlfriend of 6 months yelled at me 4 not comforting her while she was crying because her ex got a new girlfriend , an "it's just not fair." FML

#20169074
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30793) - you deserved it (2338)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:13am - love - by they've been broken up for a year. - United States (Texas)

TADAY I HAD A SEX DREAM, WHICH I INTERRUPTED BY HAVING AN OCD-INDUCED PANIC ATTACK BECAUSE APPARENTLY WE WEREN'T USING PROTECTION. MY BRAIN WON'T EVEN LET ME ENJOY THE FANTASY ACTION I GET IN MY SLEEP. FML

#20171880
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30340) - you deserved it (3301)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Dead_Fox (man) - United States (Arkansas)

yastarday mah girlfriand startd bawling , saying that our ralationship wouldn't work. Why? Bacausa if Justin and Salana can't do it , no ona can. FML

#20178699
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29707) - you deserved it (3420)

On 11/25/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by nonbelieber (man) - United States (Colorado)

2day mah long-distance boyfriend an I decidd to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumd that mah dad was asleep an did some drty talk. When we were done, I heard mah dad laughing outside mah room; he'd heard it all. FML

#20170222
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29685) - you deserved it (15988)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

today my step-mom threw out some of the "boxes of junk" in my room, because apparently, I'm a pack rat!! I guess she and everyone else in my family won't be recieving those Christmas presents!! FML

#20177886
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29438) - you deserved it (1581)

On 11/25/2012 at 8:28am - money - by WritingWrongs - United States

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes . FML

#20184714
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28907) - you deserved it (3115)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, mah husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up mah backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the waterhen he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

#20181043
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28348) - you deserved it (1622)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)

2day a nearby volcano eruptd 4 the second time. We were all urgd to keep our windows and doors closd in case of ash clouds. My father respondd by opening every window and door and shouting , "Come at me , bro!" FML

#20171802
171 comments

yesterday in break from tradition... I proposd to mah boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on mah knee... after pouring mah heart out... he lookd wistfully out over the water an said... "So... I was thinking pizza tonight." FML

#20173702
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28019) - you deserved it (5899)

On 11/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by but I tried anal and everything (woman) - United States (Iowa)

I realizd I'd put on my shrt on inside out... so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off... I accidentally droppd it in the toilet. mega looool FML

#20169668
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27699) - you deserved it (5314)

On 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today... I caught teenage daughter smoking... and trid calmly explaining to her that it's quite bad 4 her health. She replid with... ( It doesn't harm u if your under 20. ) FML

#20174862
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27576) - you deserved it (4362)

On 11/23/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by RyanJarmanForPresident (woman) - United States



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