Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 23 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my family came over for Thanksgiving. We were supposed to have had dinner hours ago, but my mom kept sneaking into the kitchen and dialing down the temperature on the oven, claiming I was going to overcook everything. At this rate, we'll be lucky to have eaten by midnight. FML

#20174185
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18405) - you deserved it (1331)

On 11/22/2012 at 6:18pm - misc - by mommycooks (woman) - United States

Today, my boss called me Dave. Now everyone actually thinks my name is Dave. It's Nathan. I've been working there for 2 years. FML

#20181011
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18195) - you deserved it (1362)

On 11/27/2012 at 8:16am - work - by nato (man) - United States

Today, I ran into an old friend, and she remarked how she couldn't believe we hadn't seen each other in a year. Except not only did I attend her baby shower a few weeks ago, I spent hundreds of dollars on a unique gift. FML

#20174439
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18127) - you deserved it (1645)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML

#20179140
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18074) - you deserved it (1588)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:27am - kids - by toritoratora - United States (California)

Today, a few of my friends and I went laser tagging. I had been smart enough to wear black since I know white glows in the dark. Unfortunately, the dandruff glowing in my hair gave me away. FML

#20180680
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18050) - you deserved it (7663)

On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by tarlyo2012 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML

#20170012
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18047) - you deserved it (1711)

On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

#20181270
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17992) - you deserved it (5319)

On 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm - animals - by Neutered (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was woken up by my elderly neighbor banging on my door at 2am. She needed "urgent" assistance as she had forgotten how to turn her TV off. I'd just fallen asleep. FML

#20184989
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17941) - you deserved it (1367)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29am - misc - by Rachael (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out the can of spray paint I got at Walmart yesterday has no spray nozzle, rendering it useless. I'm working on a project that needs to be done by the weekend, so I get to go wait in a huge line and risk being trampled to death tonight just to exchange one damn spray paint can. FML

#20174445
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17890) - you deserved it (2510)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:56pm - misc - by Unfortunate Painter - United States (California)

Today, my 5 kids were singing their favorite Christmas carols in the van, each trying to sing louder than the others. It would have probably sounded better if they were all singing the same song. FML

#20183806
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17862) - you deserved it (3633)

On 11/29/2012 at 9:22am - kids - by Dave (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML

#20179069
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17779) - you deserved it (2833)

On 11/25/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by Sam (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML

#20176506
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17653) - you deserved it (1773)

On 11/24/2012 at 11:35am - misc - by lobstercola - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the battery cables on my car came loose, thus resetting my car's electronics to factory settings. The anti-theft system is now turned on, and I can't start my car with it on. Luckily, it turns off with a remote. The remote broke about six months ago. FML



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: