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Monday 19 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my parents kindly told me what they are getting me for my 18th birthday. An eviction notice. FML

#20170511
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19467) - you deserved it (2866)

On 11/20/2012 at 1:47am - kids - by lea5459 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto my laptop and photoshopping a bong into my Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with my mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December. FML

#20178213
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19381) - you deserved it (1337)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe

Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML

#20179069
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19054) - you deserved it (2972)

On 11/25/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by Sam (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out the can of spray paint I got at Walmart yesterday has no spray nozzle, rendering it useless. I'm working on a project that needs to be done by the weekend, so I get to go wait in a huge line and risk being trampled to death tonight just to exchange one damn spray paint can. FML

#20174445
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18897) - you deserved it (2661)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:56pm - misc - by Unfortunate Painter - United States (California)

Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML

#20173284
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18688) - you deserved it (3544)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:44am - work - by Ophelia - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18639) - you deserved it (16243)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

#20176010
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18376) - you deserved it (44204)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18354) - you deserved it (6865)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

#20177662
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17682) - you deserved it (7150)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML

#20177082
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17549) - you deserved it (2549)

On 11/24/2012 at 7:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was nicknamed "Sandman." Not after the bad-ass Spider Man villain but rather because my personality is so boring it puts people to sleep. FML

#20173388
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16545) - you deserved it (3680)

On 11/22/2012 at 2:25am - misc - by zzz - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account, and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me for supposedly being glued to it 24/7, before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs like this even alive? FML

#20175635
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16512) - you deserved it (2690)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML

#20171812
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16122) - you deserved it (4360)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:00am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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