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Monday 19 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I called off my engagement, after finding out my fiancé is cheating on me. I recently started a new job, and in anticipation of getting married, I asked that my username include his surname. They can't be changed, so now I get to log in every day under that sorry bastard's surname. FML

#20170919
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18882) - you deserved it (6064)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by notAMrs (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my long distance boyfriend broke up with me. Tomorrow he should be expecting the super long love letter that I poured my heart into and sent him a week ago. FML

#20176109
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18805) - you deserved it (1343)

On 11/24/2012 at 2:02am - love - by whatever (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

#20180296
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18561) - you deserved it (2404)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was rejected for a dream photography job that involves travelling all over the world, because according to the interviewer, half the photos in my nature portfolio were "blatantly photoshopped." I guess reality isn't realistic enough for some people. FML

#20175687
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18254) - you deserved it (1015)

On 11/23/2012 at 8:29pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML

#20179829
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18233) - you deserved it (1866)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:13pm - misc - by Autocorrected - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML

#20169022
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18117) - you deserved it (3083)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by ausmill12 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years old. FML

#20170920
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18055) - you deserved it (2045)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:23pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

#20172481
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17977) - you deserved it (3704)

On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my parents told me that they had joined a local club. Proud of them for going out of their comfort zone to make new friends, I googled the name of the club. I'm sure they'll make some lifelong friends at their first swingers club meet. FML

#20179494
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17676) - you deserved it (1708)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, after being single for a while now, I unwillingly went on a blind date with a guy my friend convinced me would be perfect for me. He took me to McDonald's; his father was with him the whole entire time. He is 27. FML

#20180462
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17577) - you deserved it (1255)

On 11/26/2012 at 10:13pm - love - by N - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I ran into an old friend, and she remarked how she couldn't believe we hadn't seen each other in a year. Except not only did I attend her baby shower a few weeks ago, I spent hundreds of dollars on a unique gift. FML

#20174439
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17565) - you deserved it (1620)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cat went into labor. This is surprising since 6 years ago, we paid to have her spayed. FML

#20174337
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17469) - you deserved it (1089)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML

#20179140
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17426) - you deserved it (1540)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:27am - kids - by toritoratora - United States (California)



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