Sunday 18 November 2012 
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Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm now about 15 pounds overweight. When I called him a hypocrite as he's over 40 pounds overweight, he said that his weight didn't matter because "it's the girl's job to look hot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23753) - you deserved it (3318)
On 11/20/2012 at 4:57pm - health - by thinner than you (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23695) - you deserved it (2155)
On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23539) - you deserved it (4053)
On 11/16/2012 at 4:40am - misc - by mfischer (man) - United States
Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23499) - you deserved it (2547)
On 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23187) - you deserved it (3235)
On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)
Today, my English professor accused me of plagiarizing a poem I submitted, because she'd read it online earlier that day. The poem was mine; I posted it after writing it for her class, and even after logging into the site to prove it, she reported me to the school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22759) - you deserved it (1475)
On 11/13/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by ninjakomodo (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I had amazing make-up sex after a huge fight. Turns out he forgot to let me know it was actually break-up sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22161) - you deserved it (2506)
On 11/18/2012 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by lellow_171 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was grocery shopping. When I turned around I noticed a group of teens passing by laughing. I didn't think anything of it until I got to my cart. The losers had left a pack of Slim Fast in my cart. I'm pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21785) - you deserved it (1546)
On 11/18/2012 at 6:00am - health - by depressedpreggo (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21417) - you deserved it (3606)
On 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21341) - you deserved it (5423)
On 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by Janitoro (man) - United States
Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21064) - you deserved it (1542)
On 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm - love - by Sexting Parents - United States (New Jersey)
Today, excited that I finally got a place of my own, I invited my boyfriend over for a sexy sleep over. He told me his mom doesn't want him sleeping over. He's 21 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21064) - you deserved it (2571)
On 11/14/2012 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20997) - you deserved it (1528)
On 11/15/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by WentInABush (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Friday 24 May 2013
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