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Sunday 18 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18583) - you deserved it (16218)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

#20162883
273 comments

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18290) - you deserved it (6861)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML

#20159898
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18275) - you deserved it (1487)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:25am - health - by KtSue - United States

Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML

#20173284
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18232) - you deserved it (3506)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:44am - work - by Ophelia - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML

#20165039
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18088) - you deserved it (2513)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by spaceforrent - United States

Today, while working at the coffee shop, I had to empty the garbage cans. One of the bags gave way, and all the half-finished cups of coffee spilled all over my uniform. Most customers' orders cost more than I make per hour. FML

#20166731
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18080) - you deserved it (1883)

On 11/17/2012 at 1:35pm - work - by overpriced coffee shop worker - United States (California)

Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

#20176010
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18040) - you deserved it (43626)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I bought a new armband to hold my iPhone while working out so I can listen to music and I was excited to start getting in shape. Unfortunately, when I tried it on, my arm was too big and it didn't fit. FML

#20168720
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17903) - you deserved it (6079)

On 11/18/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by joe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

#20168543
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17836) - you deserved it (1441)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by mountains - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was singing in the shower, when some suds from my shampoo fell into my mouth and down my throat. I retched and sputtered for about two minutes before finally throwing up. FML

#20166301
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17819) - you deserved it (6869)

On 11/17/2012 at 3:45am - health - by woman - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

#20177662
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17628) - you deserved it (7147)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML

#20177082
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17481) - you deserved it (2545)

On 11/24/2012 at 7:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)



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