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Sunday 18 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

#20171802
166 comments

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me. When I explained the situation to the "other guy", he exclaimed that I was lying because I was jealous and trying to ruin his relationship. He punched me in the face. FML

#20177730
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26356) - you deserved it (2500)

On 11/25/2012 at 3:09am - love - by king400 - United States (California)

Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML

#20175626
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26212) - you deserved it (2984)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by jakeson12 - United Kingdom (Dundee City)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend while we were on my couch having a romantic moment. She seemed incredibly excited when she saw the ring and put it on. The way she bolted out the door tells me I'm not going to see her again. FML

#20163929
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25907) - you deserved it (2003)

On 11/15/2012 at 1:35am - love - by minime94 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

#20159952
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25878) - you deserved it (2083)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a shopper approached me at Target and said, "So are you just gonna stand there to look pretty and do nothing around here?" I ignored his comment, until he got so upset that he wanted to speak to my manager. It would have been understandable if I actually worked there. FML

#20177780
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25436) - you deserved it (1816)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my crush finally agreed to spend the night with me. I told my parents to act normal for one night. Apparently, "normal" is strutting around naked and acting like a chicken. FML

#20166401
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25419) - you deserved it (5321)

On 11/17/2012 at 8:34am - love - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML

#20176033
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25238) - you deserved it (1771)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Read The Fine Print - United States (California)

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

#20160393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25229) - you deserved it (7544)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML

#20177257
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25025) - you deserved it (1753)

On 11/24/2012 at 9:35pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

#20172481
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24997) - you deserved it (5502)

On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I asked my manager if wearing makeup was a requirement for the job. She told me, "Not if you're naturally pretty... So for you, yes". FML

#20166313
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24955) - you deserved it (3015)

On 11/17/2012 at 4:15am - work - by satega - United States (Missouri)

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

#20161591
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24931) - you deserved it (2502)

On 11/13/2012 at 7:02am - love - by Med (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)



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