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Sunday 18 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML

#20177082
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17551) - you deserved it (2549)

On 11/24/2012 at 7:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, while giving a lecture on gender equality in the workplace, a woman yelled from the back, asking me why I'm not out starting a war somewhere. I stopped talking and tried to pinpoint her in the crowd, which she took as a sign to snort and call me a pussy. Nobody would back me up. FML

#20168119
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17209) - you deserved it (2149)

On 11/18/2012 at 1:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML

#20167613
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17198) - you deserved it (2048)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:04am - misc - by creys - United States

Today, I was nicknamed "Sandman." Not after the bad-ass Spider Man villain but rather because my personality is so boring it puts people to sleep. FML

#20173388
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16546) - you deserved it (3680)

On 11/22/2012 at 2:25am - misc - by zzz - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account, and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me for supposedly being glued to it 24/7, before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs like this even alive? FML

#20175635
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16512) - you deserved it (2691)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML

#20164356
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16498) - you deserved it (1990)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML

#20171812
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16127) - you deserved it (4360)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:00am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, after working out and feeling really confident, I entered a mixed wrestling competition. My first match was against a woman who was over a foot taller than me. She managed to easily lift me over her head and toss me out of the ring within seconds. Confidence: gone. FML

#20160946
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15866) - you deserved it (6676)

On 11/12/2012 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

#20170086
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14909) - you deserved it (31138)

On 11/19/2012 at 9:04pm - misc - by karmaquestionmark (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I discovered that no matter how hot and exhausted you are, being blasted in the face with a high pressure hose is always more painful than refreshing. FML

#20165112
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14637) - you deserved it (9010)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML

#20167023
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14476) - you deserved it (22900)

On 11/17/2012 at 5:31pm - kids - by susan (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13317) - you deserved it (31492)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML

#20178502
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12864) - you deserved it (25049)

On 11/25/2012 at 5:38pm - love - by dumping time (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)



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