Kids: Today, I saw my little brother drink from the milk carton, gag,... - FML

By Anonymous - 27/01/2017 02:00

Today, I saw my little brother drink from the milk carton, gag, and spit the milk back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 263

You deserved it 476

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/07/2013 16:27 - Germany - K?ln

Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 043

You deserved it 4 906

By Anonymous - 04/08/2013 00:46 - United States - Kerman

Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 281

You deserved it 7 304

By squeltorey - 03/08/2012 19:28 - United States - Whittier

Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 817

You deserved it 11 163

By spekledworf - 28/08/2012 02:57 - United States - Wrentham

Today, I discovered why the milk in my house has a funny, sweet taste. My family has been pouring the leftover milk from their cereal back into the carton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 448

You deserved it 2 005

Mommy milkers

By Anonymous - 30/09/2009 05:17 - Malaysia

Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 136

You deserved it 4 255

By Anonymous - 05/06/2019 00:01

Today, my 5-year-old figured out that if he has a mouthful of milk and he blows really hard, he can blow the milk out of his nose like twin fire hoses. I’ve washed the carpet twice in the past day, and my house still stinks of rotten dairy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 820

You deserved it 232

By dani0810 - 22/01/2013 11:39 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 202

You deserved it 5 493

By who wants spaghetti - 17/12/2015 03:42 - United States - Oconomowoc

Today, during a family dinner, I witnessed my younger brother casually slip his hand down the back of his pants, take it out, sniff each finger individually, before stirring his hand in his spaghetti and continue to eat normally. I was the only one who saw this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 875

You deserved it 1 554

By Anonymous - 20/03/2012 15:37 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I found out my roommate spits the mouthwash back into the bottle after he gargles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 072

You deserved it 2 671

Little shit

By NoPocketforme - 04/04/2021 00:30

Today, I ate the last Hot Pocket in the house. My little brother threw a temper tantrum and poured a bucket of water all over my desk and Macbook. My mom’s response? “Aw he’s just a little boy.” My brother is 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 451

You deserved it 89

Next

Top comments

Mudhound123 6

Friday 27 January 2017 3:14

Well to be fair, that IS your opinion.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 27 January 2017 3:52

You gotta wonder how often he's done that before you caught him in the act.

Comments

amberthebear 7

Friday 27 January 2017 2:03

nothing like a little backwash.. thats disgusting. lol

CrazyFastRapper 7

Friday 27 January 2017 2:27

How little are we talking?

kristinjeaneen 21

Friday 27 January 2017 3:10

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Mudhound123 6

Friday 27 January 2017 3:14

Well to be fair, that IS your opinion.

Suckmybigrooster 1

Friday 27 January 2017 3:24

Better then him putting his dick into it

LyricaSilvan 29

Friday 27 January 2017 3:38

The oddness of that statement almost makes me wonder if you've had such an experience. Witnessing it, I mean. I would certainly hope it wasn't you who did it.

cootiequeen4444 11

Friday 27 January 2017 4:52

their username just makes me think they have thing for dicks. More in a "Superbad" (movie) type of way than sexual most likely. I don't find the comment so random coming from such a username.

jcash52426 5

Friday 27 January 2017 3:43

Well that milk is either expired or a different kind of milk that he is used to drinking. If it wasn't expired I would make him drink the milk or do chores around the house to pay for a replacement and he can have the one he drank out of.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 27 January 2017 3:52

You gotta wonder how often he's done that before you caught him in the act.

worldclassrager 39

Friday 27 January 2017 4:22

Reminds me of the milk scene in little man...a bit

cootiequeen4444 11

Friday 27 January 2017 5:00

I hope you took that milk carton (a) dumped it all over your little brother so he gets to smell like baby puke once it sours or (b) be more mature and just take the carton and toss it out so there are no ... victims.. of forced entry of foreign spit germs and/or bacteria otherwise know as a form of second degree grossness. learned this in jaw school.

alvarny 17

Friday 27 January 2017 7:38

he's turning it into cheese for you.

flakawaka 0

Friday 27 January 2017 7:42

Did you slap the **** out of him or...

Keywords

Love Music Cute Work TMI Gross Coworkers Racism Kids Scary Customers Geek Technology Gamers Miscellaneous Neighbours Relatable DIY Social Media Ironic Sex Awkward Cheating Animals Health Insects Insurance Plumbing Money Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, my daughter is not only an expert in escaping her diaper but also in leaving her mark on every surface possible. Today's masterpiece: a poop trail on the hotel room rug. It was like a modern art installation, but with a distinctive smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 162

Today, after spending at least two hours on the phone every day for the past week, my health insurer I pay a huge monthly premium to agreed to cover my life-sustaining insulin. But they won't contribute to the cost until after I've paid an unaffordable deductible first. I'm going to die even though I'm insured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 75

The Top

Today, to save money, I bought some meat in bulk. When I got home, I was told that power to the neighborhood was out, and probably would be for days. Rather than let the meat rot, I barbecued it all and gave it away to my neighbors. The power came on while everyone was eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 962

You deserved it 4 460

Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally 2 seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 196

You deserved it 14 984

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 342

You deserved it 87 178

Today, my daughter's 14-year-old boyfriend confessed, in front of her, that he only went out with her so he might have a chance to date me. My daughter isn't speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 388

You deserved it 1 894

Today, I found a picture of my military husband kissing another woman. His excuse? It was photoshopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 021

You deserved it 3 230

Today, I went on my third date with a great guy. We finally got round to talking about his tattoos. All 57 are related to his best friend. All of them. The best friend he never stops talking about. Somehow I don't think this will work out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 459

You deserved it 369