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Saturday 17 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online for the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body for sex at least twice a day when we get married. FML

#20173484
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21924) - you deserved it (5479)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after having finally kicked my insomnia's ass after three hours, I was woken up by something I only thought happened in movies. Someone had paid for a Mariachi band to play for their girlfriend, outside my apartment, in the middle of the night. FML

#20175516
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21897) - you deserved it (1315)

On 11/23/2012 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML

#20176506
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21841) - you deserved it (2164)

On 11/24/2012 at 11:35am - misc - by lobstercola - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

#20170390
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21828) - you deserved it (2906)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend decided to break the news that she wanted us to be "just friends." However, she did it not in just any old way - while ice-skating. I'm currently in hospital getting stitches in my arm after I tripped in shock and she ran me over. FML

#20173269
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21746) - you deserved it (1360)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:35am - love - by Ice cold (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at the library using a computer to order a package. A man sat down next to me mumbling to himself while staring at me. As I got up to go to the printer, he pointed at me and screamed, "I will burn you alive and enjoy it!" All of my info including my address was still on the computer screen. FML

#20161493
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21671) - you deserved it (4576)

On 11/13/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by sarahcurtis213 - United States

Today, I went to the Apple store to try and figure out what's going on with my iPhone. After an hour of speaking to three different geniuses and waiting around, their solution was to "Google it." FML

#20171869
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21593) - you deserved it (3382)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:42am - misc - by Jo - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

#20167650
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21553) - you deserved it (3016)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss asked me if I had any special plans for Christmas. After I told him I was planning a trip to Canada, he snapped, "Well, you can forget it. I need you at the office." FML

#20173791
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21534) - you deserved it (1445)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I learned that last week, the UPS man gave my package to my neighbor for safekeeping. It was over five-hundred dollars' worth of merchandise. My neighbor left for Canada on Saturday. FML

#20160454
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21523) - you deserved it (1541)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:40pm - money - by siciliano12594 - United States (New York)

Today, I started at my first job. Within the first five minutes of arriving, I was followed around by a white guy who repeatedly sang to me, "Black people love making music" along with a few of his own songs. It resulted in me getting fired for bringing my "boyfriend" to work. I didn't even know him. FML

#20163535
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21506) - you deserved it (1601)

On 11/14/2012 at 8:04pm - work - by sarahijklmnop (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I'm in the hospital and it's been 44 hours since I've eaten anything. My doctors won't let me eat and my parents are sitting across the room, eating. FML

#20171321
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21495) - you deserved it (1409)

On 11/20/2012 at 6:25pm - health - by RayneSong - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

#20176987
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21397) - you deserved it (2239)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm - love - by Eganstein (man) - United States (Colorado)



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