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Friday 16 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend decided to break the news that she wanted us to be "just friends." However, she did it not in just any old way - while ice-skating. I'm currently in hospital getting stitches in my arm after I tripped in shock and she ran me over. FML

#20173269
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22412) - you deserved it (1407)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:35am - love - by Ice cold (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at the library using a computer to order a package. A man sat down next to me mumbling to himself while staring at me. As I got up to go to the printer, he pointed at me and screamed, "I will burn you alive and enjoy it!" All of my info including my address was still on the computer screen. FML

#20161493
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22376) - you deserved it (4652)

On 11/13/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by sarahcurtis213 - United States

Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online for the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body for sex at least twice a day when we get married. FML

#20173484
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22124) - you deserved it (5498)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

#20170390
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22026) - you deserved it (2916)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss asked me if I had any special plans for Christmas. After I told him I was planning a trip to Canada, he snapped, "Well, you can forget it. I need you at the office." FML

#20173791
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21954) - you deserved it (1477)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my older brother thought it would be hilarious to sneak up and scare me in the grocery aisle at the store. I screamed and jumped, knocking half the shelf's contents all over the floor. We're now banned from the only grocery store in town. FML

#20166242
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21884) - you deserved it (2728)

On 11/17/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by sarahhbear - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked into my house with my friend, only to discover my husband half-naked and yelling at the TV screen over a soccer game. By half-naked, I mean he was only wearing a shirt. FML

#20169569
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21852) - you deserved it (2370)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

#20167650
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21731) - you deserved it (3033)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)

Today, I started at my first job. Within the first five minutes of arriving, I was followed around by a white guy who repeatedly sang to me, "Black people love making music" along with a few of his own songs. It resulted in me getting fired for bringing my "boyfriend" to work. I didn't even know him. FML

#20163535
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21684) - you deserved it (1609)

On 11/14/2012 at 8:04pm - work - by sarahijklmnop (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I'm in the hospital and it's been 44 hours since I've eaten anything. My doctors won't let me eat and my parents are sitting across the room, eating. FML

#20171321
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21665) - you deserved it (1417)

On 11/20/2012 at 6:25pm - health - by RayneSong - United States (Michigan)

Today, I have a final for my precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realized that I'd forgotten my calculator. FML

#20172402
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21354) - you deserved it (6643)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I spotted a girl I have a crush on while grocery shopping. Before I could go over and say hi, I noticed her walk over and stroke a few kitchen knives through plastic wrapping. Then I spotted her in the dog food section sniffing rawhide bones with her eyes closed, looking very happy. FML

#20165046
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21034) - you deserved it (2790)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by grocerystalker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20942) - you deserved it (3701)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States



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