Friday 16 November 2012 
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Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18139) - you deserved it (2047)
On 11/20/2012 at 12:23pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18140) - you deserved it (1881)
On 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by needanewride - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18088) - you deserved it (3713)
On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I went to a big job interview. Everything went well at first, with the interviewer being impressed by my CV. I was then interrogated over not having a Facebook account, and practically accused of being a criminal, because people without them "always have something to hide". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18049) - you deserved it (1249)
On 11/16/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17770) - you deserved it (2325)
On 11/14/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it inside, put it in a cage, and tended to its wounds. I then left. When I got back home, I smelled the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking. She had prepared a turkey, the one I'd rescued. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17750) - you deserved it (3360)
On 11/13/2012 at 6:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, my boyfriend and I cleaned his parents' whole house while they were out, just to be nice. When they came home, they assumed we only did it because we'd made some huge mess that we needed to hide. I'm now banned from their house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17667) - you deserved it (1347)
On 11/15/2012 at 6:34pm - love - by teea (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out I share a birthday with a fictional character who is "untrustworthy" and has a "dark side", so therefore I can't be trusted either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17655) - you deserved it (1343)
On 11/15/2012 at 12:48am - love - by B-Rad (man) - United States
Today, I ran into an old friend, and she remarked how she couldn't believe we hadn't seen each other in a year. Except not only did I attend her baby shower a few weeks ago, I spent hundreds of dollars on a unique gift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17633) - you deserved it (1622)
On 11/22/2012 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17580) - you deserved it (3277)
On 11/12/2012 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I went to the Apple store to try and figure out what's going on with my iPhone. After an hour of speaking to three different geniuses and waiting around, their solution was to "Google it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17542) - you deserved it (2962)
On 11/21/2012 at 12:42am - misc - by Jo - United States (California)
Today, while at school, a bra fell out of my coat. After the initial shock, people started congratulating me on finally getting a girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17509) - you deserved it (2197)
On 11/23/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by Tymer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17473) - you deserved it (1019)
On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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