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Sunday 11 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to forcibly separate a boy from my daughter after he grabbed her and started shoving her around. I complained to his mother, only to have her shout, "mind your fucking business" and say that her son can do whatever the hell he wants. FML

#20168309
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29087) - you deserved it (1633)

On 11/18/2012 at 4:22pm - kids - by WELL FUCK YOU KINDLY, MA'AM (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I looked up the side effects of the antidepressants I've recently started taking. Inability to orgasm is one of them. I can either not be depressed, or I can have an orgasm. FML

#20148960
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28807) - you deserved it (3739)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:25pm - intimacy - by HappinessOrOrgasms (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a woman on the train demanded I give up my seat for her, claiming it was for people with disabilities. Tired from a long day at work, and seeing she had nothing wrong with her, I asked what her disability was. Apparently, obesity is one. FML

#20152323
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28749) - you deserved it (1919)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by NotAnExcuse (woman) - United States

Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML

#20148958
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28216) - you deserved it (2450)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I had to take my little brother to the pool. He acted like a brat the whole time, and when I told him we were leaving, he ran away, slipped, and hit his face on the tile floor. He told my dad and step-mom I punched him. They believed him, and I'm grounded for two months. FML

#20167155
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28130) - you deserved it (1702)

On 11/17/2012 at 7:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML

#20164798
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28077) - you deserved it (2320)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm - love - by Sexting Parents - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

#20159952
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27933) - you deserved it (2264)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML

#20154716
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27924) - you deserved it (2169)

On 11/08/2012 at 6:09am - kids - by Shauna (woman) - United States

Today, my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat, he also got inside the car and sat next to my date, pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time, and walked me back to the house. My mom laughed and gave him $20. It was a dare. FML

Today, my crush finally agreed to spend the night with me. I told my parents to act normal for one night. Apparently, "normal" is strutting around naked and acting like a chicken. FML

#20166401
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27164) - you deserved it (5562)

On 11/17/2012 at 8:34am - love - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML

#20156278
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27128) - you deserved it (6603)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Argentina (Buenos Aires)

Today, my best friend got engaged to the guy she's been seeing for five years. He also happens to be the man I've been in love with for eight. As she was giving me the details, she nonchalantly gave me her reason for accepting the proposal: "Why the hell not, there's always divorce." FML

#20149647
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27062) - you deserved it (4060)

On 11/05/2012 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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