Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 11 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my English professor accused me of plagiarizing a poem I submitted, because she'd read it online earlier that day. The poem was mine; I posted it after writing it for her class, and even after logging into the site to prove it, she reported me to the school. FML

Today, I have a tooth infection that's spread to my jaw and ear. It hurts so badly that I'm practically in tears. Today's also the day I found out I'm allergic to the medication I was prescribed. Everything hurts, I'm covered in hives, and I can't stop throwing up. FML

#20165827
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31408) - you deserved it (1775)

On 11/16/2012 at 7:30pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Croatia (Primorsko-Goranska)

Today, after I spent two hours trying to teach my girlfriend to play sudoku, she broke up with me, tearfully claiming that I'd made up a fake, imaginary game to make her feel stupid. FML

#20167793
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31334) - you deserved it (3199)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML

#20149912
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30904) - you deserved it (4317)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Ugggggggggg (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML

#20163953
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30869) - you deserved it (2691)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by WentInABush (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend of three years, whom I recently got engaged to, asked me to take a photo of my mother's boobs while she was sleeping so that he could see what mine would look like when I got older. FML

#20160220
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30152) - you deserved it (3475)

On 11/12/2012 at 8:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

Today, while in class, I was called down to the office. The principal showed me a video of 2 guys fighting in the school parking lot. I'm accused of being one of those guys. I'm a girl. FML

#20154873
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29655) - you deserved it (1941)

On 11/08/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by mayerstexmex69 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29548) - you deserved it (2440)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, I was grocery shopping. When I turned around I noticed a group of teens passing by laughing. I didn't think anything of it until I got to my cart. The losers had left a pack of Slim Fast in my cart. I'm pregnant. FML

#20167758
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29467) - you deserved it (2079)

On 11/18/2012 at 6:00am - health - by depressedpreggo (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML

#20157197
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29328) - you deserved it (2605)

On 11/10/2012 at 5:15am - love - by Helen - United States (Arkansas)

Today, after being a germaphobe for almost ten years and refusing to go out to restaurants because of it, I finally had the courage to face my fear, and went to dinner with my family. After three bites into my salad, I found a dead bug in it. FML

#20150517
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29149) - you deserved it (3005)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

#20165849
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29092) - you deserved it (5536)

On 11/16/2012 at 8:06pm - work - by wow @ creepy fuckers (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: