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Saturday 10 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML

#20148363
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19645) - you deserved it (4270)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by poro123 - United Kingdom

Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up at the sky and asked me in all seriousness if stars are man-made. FML

#20156290
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19422) - you deserved it (2989)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by baby, baby no (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML

#20154549
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18988) - you deserved it (4136)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally met the girl I've been talking to on phone for a while and found her charming in person as well. There's just one problem: she has more facial hair than I do. FML

#20159578
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18717) - you deserved it (5815)

On 11/11/2012 at 9:16pm - love - by x (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML

#20164356
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18695) - you deserved it (2211)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, my dad put an onion in my room, telling me spirits won't haunt me and that I won't get sick. He thinks a vegetable will protect me. FML

#20163512
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18610) - you deserved it (2388)

On 11/14/2012 at 7:48pm - health - by duhasiangirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML

#20165039
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18498) - you deserved it (2550)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by spaceforrent - United States

Today, after dealing with infidelity in my marriage, I found myself looking for advice. This led me to the comments section of a tabloid article talking about Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson. I'm a 30-year-old man taking marriage advice from a bunch of vampire-obsessed tweens. FML

#20156173
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18405) - you deserved it (5427)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:07am - love - by loser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while working at the coffee shop, I had to empty the garbage cans. One of the bags gave way, and all the half-finished cups of coffee spilled all over my uniform. Most customers' orders cost more than I make per hour. FML

#20166731
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18372) - you deserved it (1897)

On 11/17/2012 at 1:35pm - work - by overpriced coffee shop worker - United States (California)

Today, I was told I look like a Simpson. I don't have blond hair, or any of the features of them. So I asked which one. I was told Homer because we both could use Weight Watchers and an education. FML

#20155893
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18318) - you deserved it (3800)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had dinner with my grandparents. At the table, my grandfather openly complained about how hard it is for him to get out of their hot tub. Not because of his prosthetic leg, but because his balls somehow "get stuck". I really didn't need to know that. FML

#20159093
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18292) - you deserved it (1458)

On 11/11/2012 at 3:27pm - misc - by Miki13 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML

#20153942
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18122) - you deserved it (1884)

On 11/07/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by derve - United States

Today, I was singing in the shower, when some suds from my shampoo fell into my mouth and down my throat. I retched and sputtered for about two minutes before finally throwing up. FML

#20166301
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18096) - you deserved it (6903)

On 11/17/2012 at 3:45am - health - by woman - United States (Wisconsin)



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