Saturday 10 November 2012 
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Today, I was waitressing for a huge family. Their bill was $750. Excited about the tip, I was shocked to see only $0.50. As they were leaving, I threw the two whole quarters at their heads. Guess who also got fired today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13585) - you deserved it (28865)
On 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm - work - by Misunderstood Waitress (woman) - United States
Today, after finishing a test, I decided to draw to pass the time. My teacher looked at the drawing and gave me a referral to the principal for drawing an "anti-Semitic picture." I'd drawn Superman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13554) - you deserved it (943)
On 11/15/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Superman (man) - United States (California)
Today, while working at the coffee shop, I had to empty the garbage cans. One of the bags gave way, and all the half-finished cups of coffee spilled all over my uniform. Most customers' orders cost more than I make per hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13495) - you deserved it (1296)
On 11/17/2012 at 1:35pm - work - by overpriced coffee shop worker - United States (California)
Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13427) - you deserved it (1778)
On 11/16/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by spaceforrent - United States
Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13281) - you deserved it (1484)
On 11/10/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by me - United States (Oregon)
Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12929) - you deserved it (942)
On 11/12/2012 at 12:25am - health - by KtSue - United States
Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12846) - you deserved it (2892)
On 11/08/2012 at 12:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was singing in the shower, when some suds from my shampoo fell into my mouth and down my throat. I retched and sputtered for about two minutes before finally throwing up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12738) - you deserved it (4964)
On 11/17/2012 at 3:45am - health - by woman - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, after dealing with infidelity in my marriage, I found myself looking for advice. This led me to the comments section of a tabloid article talking about Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson. I'm a 30-year-old man taking marriage advice from a bunch of vampire-obsessed tweens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12713) - you deserved it (4435)
On 11/09/2012 at 11:07am - love - by loser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was told I look like a Simpson. I don't have blond hair, or any of the features of them. So I asked which one. I was told Homer because we both could use Weight Watchers and an education. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12624) - you deserved it (2588)
On 11/09/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Georgia)
Today, I had dinner with my grandparents. At the table, my grandfather openly complained about how hard it is for him to get out of their hot tub. Not because of his prosthetic leg, but because his balls somehow "get stuck". I really didn't need to know that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12260) - you deserved it (839)
On 11/11/2012 at 3:27pm - misc - by Miki13 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my dad put an onion in my room, telling me spirits won't haunt me and that I won't get sick. He thinks a vegetable will protect me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12167) - you deserved it (1478)
On 11/14/2012 at 7:48pm - health - by duhasiangirl - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11909) - you deserved it (1372)
On 11/15/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland
Monday 20 May 2013
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