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Saturday 10 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML

#20156617
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21279) - you deserved it (2790)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:16pm - health - by dating a fking cnt (man) - Canada

Today, my mother-in-law moved in because she has a hip problem. I don't know what's worse, her constant complaining and slob like tendencies, or the eight cats she brought along with her. FML

#20154544
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21278) - you deserved it (1745)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:43am - misc - by David (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was renovating the house, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this, I just gave her a puzzled look. She continued by saying, "Because it's not like people use duct tape on ducks." FML

#20158312
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21170) - you deserved it (2910)

On 11/11/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Danny - United States (Utah)

Today, I overheard my mom talking on the phone with my sister about how much they hate my fiancé. My wedding is in two weeks and my family has been pretending to like my future husband for three years. FML

#20148569
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21146) - you deserved it (1781)

On 11/05/2012 at 6:36am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I spotted a girl I have a crush on while grocery shopping. Before I could go over and say hi, I noticed her walk over and stroke a few kitchen knives through plastic wrapping. Then I spotted her in the dog food section sniffing rawhide bones with her eyes closed, looking very happy. FML

#20165046
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21063) - you deserved it (2794)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by grocerystalker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after a year of living with my boyfriend at our new place, he told me that he wants to sell our house and live in a trailer, so he can be closer to his mom. FML

#20155172
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20840) - you deserved it (2221)

On 11/08/2012 at 4:22pm - misc - by Anonimo (woman) - Italy (Sardegna)

Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML

#20163308
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20695) - you deserved it (3005)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at a red light, my mom started to tell me that she and my dad hadn't had sex in months, that they "probably won't bounce back from this one," and are most likely getting a divorce. FML

#20151103
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20670) - you deserved it (1426)

On 11/06/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by rastamerican - United States (California)

Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "my sex life". FML

#20157215
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20541) - you deserved it (4451)

On 11/10/2012 at 6:02am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, despite my pleading, my boyfriend mounted a set of bullhorns above our headboard. Guess what came crashing down on our heads at 2am. FML

#20153273
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20479) - you deserved it (2053)

On 11/07/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML

#20148667
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20426) - you deserved it (1598)

On 11/05/2012 at 9:02am - misc - by liquorless (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

#20161557
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20404) - you deserved it (2024)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:00am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, while sitting in a waiting room, a man assured me "The safety's on" after he handed his kid his BB gun. A minute later, I practically had a hole in my foot. FML

#20160435
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20401) - you deserved it (2504)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:12pm - health - by Emily - United States (California)



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