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Saturday 10 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML

#20164798
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27958) - you deserved it (2316)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm - love - by Sexting Parents - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML

#20154716
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27845) - you deserved it (2163)

On 11/08/2012 at 6:09am - kids - by Shauna (woman) - United States

Today, my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat, he also got inside the car and sat next to my date, pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time, and walked me back to the house. My mom laughed and gave him $20. It was a dare. FML

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27095) - you deserved it (2221)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML

#20156278
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26996) - you deserved it (6591)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Argentina (Buenos Aires)

Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML

Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it inside, put it in a cage, and tended to its wounds. I then left. When I got back home, I smelled the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking. She had prepared a turkey, the one I'd rescued. FML

#20162095
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26278) - you deserved it (5035)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend while we were on my couch having a romantic moment. She seemed incredibly excited when she saw the ring and put it on. The way she bolted out the door tells me I'm not going to see her again. FML

#20163929
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26063) - you deserved it (2020)

On 11/15/2012 at 1:35am - love - by minime94 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

#20159952
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26056) - you deserved it (2095)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML

#20158140
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25905) - you deserved it (3460)

On 11/10/2012 at 10:10pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25766) - you deserved it (1863)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, I accidentally bumped into another car on the road. The worst of the damage was a slight chip to the other driver's paint, but she played it up so much that she ended up being taken away in an ambulance. I'm now terrified that the crazy bitch is going to sue me. FML

#20158993
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25650) - you deserved it (2913)

On 11/11/2012 at 2:11pm - money - by youfuckingslut (man) - United States

Today, while at a stop light, I was rear-ended by a car behind me. The guy got angry at me, because according to him, I should've known that his car has poor braking distance, and so I should've moved forward a few more feet to compensate. FML

#20157954
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25632) - you deserved it (1297)

On 11/10/2012 at 7:29pm - misc - by Me - United States



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