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Saturday 10 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML

#20149912
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30842) - you deserved it (4311)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Ugggggggggg (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML

#20163953
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30824) - you deserved it (2686)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by WentInABush (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend of three years, whom I recently got engaged to, asked me to take a photo of my mother's boobs while she was sleeping so that he could see what mine would look like when I got older. FML

#20160220
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30093) - you deserved it (3473)

On 11/12/2012 at 8:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

Today, while in class, I was called down to the office. The principal showed me a video of 2 guys fighting in the school parking lot. I'm accused of being one of those guys. I'm a girl. FML

#20154873
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29605) - you deserved it (1938)

On 11/08/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by mayerstexmex69 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML

#20157197
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29259) - you deserved it (2601)

On 11/10/2012 at 5:15am - love - by Helen - United States (Arkansas)

Today, after being a germaphobe for almost ten years and refusing to go out to restaurants because of it, I finally had the courage to face my fear, and went to dinner with my family. After three bites into my salad, I found a dead bug in it. FML

#20150517
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29081) - you deserved it (3003)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

#20165849
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29044) - you deserved it (5535)

On 11/16/2012 at 8:06pm - work - by wow @ creepy fuckers (man) - United States

Today, I looked up the side effects of the antidepressants I've recently started taking. Inability to orgasm is one of them. I can either not be depressed, or I can have an orgasm. FML

#20148960
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28748) - you deserved it (3733)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:25pm - intimacy - by HappinessOrOrgasms (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a woman on the train demanded I give up my seat for her, claiming it was for people with disabilities. Tired from a long day at work, and seeing she had nothing wrong with her, I asked what her disability was. Apparently, obesity is one. FML

#20152323
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28674) - you deserved it (1915)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by NotAnExcuse (woman) - United States

Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML

#20148958
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28170) - you deserved it (2445)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I had to take my little brother to the pool. He acted like a brat the whole time, and when I told him we were leaving, he ran away, slipped, and hit his face on the tile floor. He told my dad and step-mom I punched him. They believed him, and I'm grounded for two months. FML

#20167155
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28090) - you deserved it (1700)

On 11/17/2012 at 7:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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