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Sunday 4 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML

#20156190
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23183) - you deserved it (7765)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:23am - work - by EnglishLearner (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23141) - you deserved it (7068)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML

#20150513
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23105) - you deserved it (1665)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to delete my Facebook account. My older sister repeatedly called me in tears asking why I'm cutting her out of my life. It seems I can't get rid of social media without my family taking offence. FML

#20145432
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23088) - you deserved it (2114)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML

#20141607
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23022) - you deserved it (4353)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:09pm - animals - by NotSpiderman (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML

#20144868
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22757) - you deserved it (3846)

On 11/02/2012 at 8:23pm - work - by YOUFUCKINGFUCKSOCK (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML

#20148363
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22746) - you deserved it (4663)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by poro123 - United Kingdom

Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML

#20149952
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22721) - you deserved it (3489)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:42am - love - by cowgirl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up at the sky and asked me in all seriousness if stars are man-made. FML

#20156290
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22680) - you deserved it (3323)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by baby, baby no (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I'm at work on a construction site for a high rise building, on the 12th floor today. I've developed a severe case of the runs, causing me to need to rush to the nearest toilet periodically. Luckily for me it's conveniently located on the ground floor. FML

#20154818
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22648) - you deserved it (1620)

On 11/08/2012 at 9:36am - health - by bob the builder - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "my sex life". FML

#20157215
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22632) - you deserved it (4702)

On 11/10/2012 at 6:02am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

#20153727
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22621) - you deserved it (7331)

On 11/07/2012 at 4:30pm - animals - by Drafty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I work on a cruise ship, and I just learned that we have a morgue on board. How did I learn that? It's right next to the crew laundry room, and I opened the wrong door. It was occupied. FML

#20147788
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22257) - you deserved it (1796)

On 11/04/2012 at 7:02pm - work - by CircusSea (man) - Puerto Rico



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