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Sunday 4 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML

#20138280
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17212) - you deserved it (4307)

On 10/29/2012 at 3:55am - misc - by Nice Guy (man) - United States (California)

Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML

#20138046
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17177) - you deserved it (1060)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by tcm123 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML

#20142449
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17149) - you deserved it (1177)

On 11/01/2012 at 1:08am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was waitressing for a huge family. Their bill was $750. Excited about the tip, I was shocked to see only $0.50. As they were leaving, I threw the two whole quarters at their heads. Guess who also got fired today. FML

#20150831
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17122) - you deserved it (40579)

On 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm - work - by Misunderstood Waitress (woman) - United States

Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "my sex life". FML

#20157215
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16831) - you deserved it (3964)

On 11/10/2012 at 6:02am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, I finally met the girl I've been talking to on phone for a while and found her charming in person as well. There's just one problem: she has more facial hair than I do. FML

#20159578
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16756) - you deserved it (5512)

On 11/11/2012 at 9:16pm - love - by x (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my teacher wore a bikini at the pool. She is 68. FML

#20153506
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16729) - you deserved it (2790)

On 11/07/2012 at 1:39pm - work - by Owen - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML

#20154549
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16678) - you deserved it (3856)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML

#20158574
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16568) - you deserved it (1885)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I worked up the courage to give a guy my number. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, tore it in half and gave it to him. Later, I noticed I'd given him the wrong, blank half. FML

#20142410
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16422) - you deserved it (9293)

On 11/01/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16397) - you deserved it (5713)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, despite my pleading, my boyfriend mounted a set of bullhorns above our headboard. Guess what came crashing down on our heads at 2am. FML

#20153273
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16367) - you deserved it (1725)

On 11/07/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML

#20141617
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16042) - you deserved it (1017)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:23pm - animals - by orilykid (man) - United States (California)



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