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Sunday 4 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML

#20148667
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20452) - you deserved it (1598)

On 11/05/2012 at 9:02am - misc - by liquorless (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML

#20141607
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20383) - you deserved it (3992)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:09pm - animals - by NotSpiderman (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML

#20157085
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20256) - you deserved it (3121)

On 11/10/2012 at 1:51am - animals - by Sam l. - United States

Today, I work on a cruise ship, and I just learned that we have a morgue on board. How did I learn that? It's right next to the crew laundry room, and I opened the wrong door. It was occupied. FML

#20147788
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20194) - you deserved it (1627)

On 11/04/2012 at 7:02pm - work - by CircusSea (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I'm at work on a construction site for a high rise building, on the 12th floor today. I've developed a severe case of the runs, causing me to need to rush to the nearest toilet periodically. Luckily for me it's conveniently located on the ground floor. FML

#20154818
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19955) - you deserved it (1396)

On 11/08/2012 at 9:36am - health - by bob the builder - United States (Mississippi)

Today, a customer smiled, looked me in the eye and described to me in graphic detail the swelling that occurred to his nuts after his vasectomy. FML

#20142730
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19940) - you deserved it (1645)

On 11/01/2012 at 9:52am - work - by tmi. - Australia

Today, I worked up the courage to give a guy my number. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, tore it in half and gave it to him. Later, I noticed I'd given him the wrong, blank half. FML

#20142410
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19925) - you deserved it (10339)

On 11/01/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML

#20149952
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19834) - you deserved it (3168)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:42am - love - by cowgirl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML

#20154142
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19831) - you deserved it (2105)

On 11/07/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by ohcrap (man) - United States

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19815) - you deserved it (6399)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML

#20156190
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19814) - you deserved it (7122)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:23am - work - by EnglishLearner (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

#20153727
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19810) - you deserved it (6907)

On 11/07/2012 at 4:30pm - animals - by Drafty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML

#20150513
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19745) - you deserved it (1401)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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