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Sunday 4 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML

#20159457
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23839) - you deserved it (2251)

On 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, we found out that the beloved "Uncle Jimmy" from my early childhood was really the man my mother was cheating on my dad with. FML

#20156411
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23751) - you deserved it (1333)

On 11/09/2012 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Gisborne)

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

#20147554
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23720) - you deserved it (2802)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by i fking love docb - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML

#20145644
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23700) - you deserved it (1734)

On 11/03/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by xXfloatingshitlogXx (woman) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, I went to a big family dinner. I didn't realize I hadn't been invited until we were about to sit down to eat. There were 12 chairs, 12 plates, 12 forks, and 12 glasses. I was the 13th person to arrive. FML

#20141489
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23676) - you deserved it (2298)

On 10/31/2012 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

#20156633
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23667) - you deserved it (3032)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was reading a book in public. Some bastard stranger came over and started spoiling the plot for me. FML

#20148752
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23661) - you deserved it (2432)

On 11/05/2012 at 10:58am - misc - by Spoilicious - Singapore

Today, I sampled some of the food my fiancée's mom is making for our wedding. Everything tasted terrible, and I almost vomited. Turns out she never actually went to culinary school as she claimed, but had just watched Julie and Julia. It's too late to book another caterer for the wedding. FML

#20145916
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23592) - you deserved it (4985)

On 11/03/2012 at 3:42pm - health - by WeddingWoes (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I threw up after drinking a smoothie my mother made me. She then called me "ungrateful" and "immature" for not liking what she spent a long time making for me. I later found out that not only did she use expired yogurt, it was also a mango smoothie, which I'm allergic to. FML

#20153910
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23566) - you deserved it (1391)

On 11/07/2012 at 6:28pm - health - by anon - United States

Today, I was planning on enjoying my one day off work from the hospital, at home. I got a call saying I had to come in because my department was short-handed. I went in to find almost everyone there. Turns out it was a prank by my coworkers. FML

#20148851
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23432) - you deserved it (1532)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:33pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

#20139029
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22883) - you deserved it (2859)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm - misc - by Indianagirl94 (woman) - United States

Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML

#20141826
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22844) - you deserved it (1539)

On 10/31/2012 at 5:03pm - work - by SoSoRachel - United States (Illinois)

Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML

#20155774
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22778) - you deserved it (2630)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:53pm - love - by holyshitbatman - United States (Ohio)



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