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Sunday 4 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML

Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML

#20142085
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25948) - you deserved it (2390)

On 10/31/2012 at 8:40pm - misc - by hallofail (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML

#20156278
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25944) - you deserved it (6451)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Argentina (Buenos Aires)

Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML

#20138973
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25934) - you deserved it (2320)

On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25579) - you deserved it (2376)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while at a stop light, I was rear-ended by a car behind me. The guy got angry at me, because according to him, I should've known that his car has poor braking distance, and so I should've moved forward a few more feet to compensate. FML

#20157954
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25492) - you deserved it (1291)

On 11/10/2012 at 7:29pm - misc - by Me - United States

Today, my daughter brought home her new boyfriend. He has a neck tattoo, and his life's dream is to be a professional "beer pong" player. FML

#20146654
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25331) - you deserved it (2971)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by PleaseDontBeSerious - Canada

Today, my husband and I found out that our dog was pregnant. He now refuses to have kids with me for at least two years, because he wants to raise the puppies without any "distractions". FML

#20140254
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25257) - you deserved it (3661)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:45pm - animals - by Lilly - United States

Today, I met someone really cool and their departing words were, for some odd reason, "We should totally be friends, I mean unless you're schizophrenic or something, haha!" I have schizophrenia. FML

#20140639
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25182) - you deserved it (1935)

On 10/30/2012 at 7:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML

#20148447
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25152) - you deserved it (2989)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:02am - love - by sad (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I accidentally bumped into another car on the road. The worst of the damage was a slight chip to the other driver's paint, but she played it up so much that she ended up being taken away in an ambulance. I'm now terrified that the crazy bitch is going to sue me. FML

#20158993
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24936) - you deserved it (2844)

On 11/11/2012 at 2:11pm - money - by youfuckingslut (man) - United States

Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML

#20158140
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24889) - you deserved it (3365)

On 11/10/2012 at 10:10pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my best friend got engaged to the guy she's been seeing for five years. He also happens to be the man I've been in love with for eight. As she was giving me the details, she nonchalantly gave me her reason for accepting the proposal: "Why the hell not, there's always divorce." FML

#20149647
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24770) - you deserved it (3815)

On 11/05/2012 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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