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Saturday 3 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I decided to delete my Facebook account. My older sister repeatedly called me in tears asking why I'm cutting her out of my life. It seems I can't get rid of social media without my family taking offence. FML

#20145432
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21702) - you deserved it (1995)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I'm at work on a construction site for a high rise building, on the 12th floor today. I've developed a severe case of the runs, causing me to need to rush to the nearest toilet periodically. Luckily for me it's conveniently located on the ground floor. FML

#20154818
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21557) - you deserved it (1518)

On 11/08/2012 at 9:36am - health - by bob the builder - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "my sex life". FML

#20157215
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21527) - you deserved it (4562)

On 11/10/2012 at 6:02am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was complimented for having amazingly lifelike warts as part of my witch costume, and was asked how I achieved the effect so well. I didn't have the heart to admit they were just my pimples under green makeup. FML

#20138696
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21448) - you deserved it (2032)

On 10/29/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by mistickfae - United States

Today, my deranged wife somehow became convinced that vampires actually exist. She's now walking around with garlic powder caked into her clothing. I can't get the smell out of my nostrils. FML

#20147303
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21201) - you deserved it (2167)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML

#20138280
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21175) - you deserved it (4864)

On 10/29/2012 at 3:55am - misc - by Nice Guy (man) - United States (California)

Today, a customer smiled, looked me in the eye and described to me in graphic detail the swelling that occurred to his nuts after his vasectomy. FML

#20142730
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20735) - you deserved it (1717)

On 11/01/2012 at 9:52am - work - by tmi. - Australia

Today, I finally got to attend the concert I have been anticipating for weeks. The band was great. The drunk guy sitting behind me yelling profanity and out of tune lyrics in my ear throughout the entire show, however, was not. FML

#20144110
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20651) - you deserved it (2023)

On 11/02/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by annoyed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I work on a cruise ship, and I just learned that we have a morgue on board. How did I learn that? It's right next to the crew laundry room, and I opened the wrong door. It was occupied. FML

#20147788
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20296) - you deserved it (1635)

On 11/04/2012 at 7:02pm - work - by CircusSea (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML

#20154549
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20220) - you deserved it (4271)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I worked up the courage to give a guy my number. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, tore it in half and gave it to him. Later, I noticed I'd given him the wrong, blank half. FML

#20142410
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20006) - you deserved it (10370)

On 11/01/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was told I look like a Simpson. I don't have blond hair, or any of the features of them. So I asked which one. I was told Homer because we both could use Weight Watchers and an education. FML

#20155893
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20005) - you deserved it (4011)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Georgia)

Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML

#20149952
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19923) - you deserved it (3181)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:42am - love - by cowgirl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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