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Saturday 3 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to a big family dinner. I didn't realize I hadn't been invited until we were about to sit down to eat. There were 12 chairs, 12 plates, 12 forks, and 12 glasses. I was the 13th person to arrive. FML

#20141489
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24290) - you deserved it (2360)

On 10/31/2012 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a furniture store. We split up for a bit, and after a while I went to find him. A salesman noticed I seemed to be looking around for him and said, "Oh, your son is upstairs." We're the same age. FML

#20155909
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23946) - you deserved it (2043)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:26am - misc - by slypher25aussie (man) - United States (California)

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

#20147554
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23794) - you deserved it (2810)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by i fking love docb - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML

#20145644
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23775) - you deserved it (1740)

On 11/03/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by xXfloatingshitlogXx (woman) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

#20156633
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23749) - you deserved it (3036)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I threw up after drinking a smoothie my mother made me. She then called me "ungrateful" and "immature" for not liking what she spent a long time making for me. I later found out that not only did she use expired yogurt, it was also a mango smoothie, which I'm allergic to. FML

#20153910
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23656) - you deserved it (1398)

On 11/07/2012 at 6:28pm - health - by anon - United States

Today, after weeks of wondering if my cat has a fetish for licking my bed covers, I finally witnessed him licking up an ant off of the covers. Turns out that my bed is infested with ants. FML

#20138030
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23588) - you deserved it (4896)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:23am - animals - by lifelike (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was planning on enjoying my one day off work from the hospital, at home. I got a call saying I had to come in because my department was short-handed. I went in to find almost everyone there. Turns out it was a prank by my coworkers. FML

#20148851
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23507) - you deserved it (1534)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:33pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I'm at home, sick with walking pneumonia and a raging UTI. Every time I cough, I piss myself. I'm now having to lie on a bath towel and garbage bags until the meds kick in. FML

#20145285
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23423) - you deserved it (1497)

On 11/03/2012 at 1:34am - health - by jdch_99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my manager made me stay at work for an extra four hours, making me miss an urgent specialist appointment I'd scheduled months ago. Why? Because her neighbor's dog was having puppies, and she wanted to go home early and see them. FML

#20143987
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23043) - you deserved it (2450)

On 11/02/2012 at 1:53am - work - by whytetrash - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

#20139029
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22963) - you deserved it (2867)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm - misc - by Indianagirl94 (woman) - United States

Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML

#20141617
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22934) - you deserved it (1699)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:23pm - animals - by orilykid (man) - United States (California)

Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML

#20141826
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22933) - you deserved it (1546)

On 10/31/2012 at 5:03pm - work - by SoSoRachel - United States (Illinois)



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