Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Saturday 3 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to a big family dinner. I didn't realize I hadn't been invited until we were about to sit down to eat. There were 12 chairs, 12 plates, 12 forks, and 12 glasses. I was the 13th person to arrive. FML

#20141489
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23636) - you deserved it (2297)

On 10/31/2012 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

#20156633
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23637) - you deserved it (3030)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was reading a book in public. Some bastard stranger came over and started spoiling the plot for me. FML

#20148752
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23630) - you deserved it (2430)

On 11/05/2012 at 10:58am - misc - by Spoilicious - Singapore

Today, I sampled some of the food my fiancée's mom is making for our wedding. Everything tasted terrible, and I almost vomited. Turns out she never actually went to culinary school as she claimed, but had just watched Julie and Julia. It's too late to book another caterer for the wedding. FML

#20145916
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23570) - you deserved it (4983)

On 11/03/2012 at 3:42pm - health - by WeddingWoes (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I threw up after drinking a smoothie my mother made me. She then called me "ungrateful" and "immature" for not liking what she spent a long time making for me. I later found out that not only did she use expired yogurt, it was also a mango smoothie, which I'm allergic to. FML

#20153910
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23526) - you deserved it (1390)

On 11/07/2012 at 6:28pm - health - by anon - United States

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

#20139029
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22850) - you deserved it (2859)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm - misc - by Indianagirl94 (woman) - United States

Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML

#20141826
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22822) - you deserved it (1537)

On 10/31/2012 at 5:03pm - work - by SoSoRachel - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was bitched out by my supervisor because of my lack of "customer service" skills. I work at a jail and all my "customers" are criminals. FML

#20152272
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22742) - you deserved it (4103)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:48am - work - by jailofc (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML

#20155774
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22738) - you deserved it (2626)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:53pm - love - by holyshitbatman - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

#20150645
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22690) - you deserved it (2536)

On 11/06/2012 at 3:27pm - animals - by creedonfied - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my company had a Halloween party. I was so excited seeing as our company never does anything, so I pulled out all the stops with my costume. I was the only one who got dressed up. FML

#20144153
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22465) - you deserved it (3119)

On 11/02/2012 at 8:17am - work - by PieterseMJ - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML

#20142449
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22367) - you deserved it (1550)

On 11/01/2012 at 1:08am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going through some troubles in our relationship, and she said to me, "No offense, but I really hope no other relationship I have in the future will be like this one." Some offense taken. FML

#20141147
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22342) - you deserved it (2739)

On 10/31/2012 at 12:22am - love - by anon (woman) - United States (New York)



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: