Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Saturday 3 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at daycare, a little girl cussed me out because I didn't have any apple juice left. When I called her parents, they sided with her and cussed me out too. My boss refused to sympathize, and reprimanded me for not making sure we still had apple juice. FML

#20148817
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23044) - you deserved it (2355)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I threw up after drinking a smoothie my mother made me. She then called me "ungrateful" and "immature" for not liking what she spent a long time making for me. I later found out that not only did she use expired yogurt, it was also a mango smoothie, which I'm allergic to. FML

#20153910
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22916) - you deserved it (1352)

On 11/07/2012 at 6:28pm - health - by anon - United States

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

#20140057
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22748) - you deserved it (4068)

On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States

Today, I went to a big family dinner. I didn't realize I hadn't been invited until we were about to sit down to eat. There were 12 chairs, 12 plates, 12 forks, and 12 glasses. I was the 13th person to arrive. FML

#20141489
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22622) - you deserved it (2216)

On 10/31/2012 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

#20150645
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22251) - you deserved it (2494)

On 11/06/2012 at 3:27pm - animals - by creedonfied - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a furniture store. We split up for a bit, and after a while I went to find him. A salesman noticed I seemed to be looking around for him and said, "Oh, your son is upstairs." We're the same age. FML

#20155909
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22198) - you deserved it (1904)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:26am - misc - by slypher25aussie (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was working in a call center when I smelled perfume. I'm allergic, and it triggered my asthma. When I came back, some jerk had sprayed it all over my work area. I couldn't go near it for the rest of my shift, therefore I had to go home early, and got my paycheck docked. FML

#20143862
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22186) - you deserved it (1833)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:13am - work - by John - United States

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

#20156633
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22173) - you deserved it (2881)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was bitched out by my supervisor because of my lack of "customer service" skills. I work at a jail and all my "customers" are criminals. FML

#20152272
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22109) - you deserved it (4013)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:48am - work - by jailofc (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

#20139029
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22071) - you deserved it (2777)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm - misc - by Indianagirl94 (woman) - United States

Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML

#20141826
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22006) - you deserved it (1469)

On 10/31/2012 at 5:03pm - work - by SoSoRachel - United States (Illinois)

Today, my newly ex-fiancé, the father of my 5-year-old child, moved out of state with no warning. I just spent my last $500 paying off his car, and the rent is due tomorrow. FML

#20144316
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21998) - you deserved it (5322)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:35pm - love - by lilithfaye (woman) - United States

Today, my company had a Halloween party. I was so excited seeing as our company never does anything, so I pulled out all the stops with my costume. I was the only one who got dressed up. FML

#20144153
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21923) - you deserved it (3055)

On 11/02/2012 at 8:17am - work - by PieterseMJ - South Africa (Gauteng)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: