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Tuesday 30 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked at the doctor and seriously asked, "When do you circumcise the baby?" We had a baby girl. FML

#20138333
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23160) - you deserved it (2206)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sampled some of the food my fiancée's mom is making for our wedding. Everything tasted terrible, and I almost vomited. Turns out she never actually went to culinary school as she claimed, but had just watched Julie and Julia. It's too late to book another caterer for the wedding. FML

#20145916
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23075) - you deserved it (4935)

On 11/03/2012 at 3:42pm - health - by WeddingWoes (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

#20141343
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22690) - you deserved it (2948)

On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)

Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML

#20145644
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22025) - you deserved it (1593)

On 11/03/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by xXfloatingshitlogXx (woman) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML

#20148447
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22019) - you deserved it (2702)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:02am - love - by sad (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

#20140057
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21883) - you deserved it (3962)

On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States

Today, I was planning on enjoying my one day off work from the hospital, at home. I got a call saying I had to come in because my department was short-handed. I went in to find almost everyone there. Turns out it was a prank by my coworkers. FML

#20148851
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21455) - you deserved it (1385)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:33pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

#20141794
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21453) - you deserved it (3195)

On 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I met someone really cool and their departing words were, for some odd reason, "We should totally be friends, I mean unless you're schizophrenic or something, haha!" I have schizophrenia. FML

#20140639
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21428) - you deserved it (1653)

On 10/30/2012 at 7:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML

#20142562
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21149) - you deserved it (3220)

On 11/01/2012 at 4:20am - kids - by NoSpirit (woman) -

Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML

#20141826
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21087) - you deserved it (1401)

On 10/31/2012 at 5:03pm - work - by SoSoRachel - United States (Illinois)

Today, my newly ex-fiancé, the father of my 5-year-old child, moved out of state with no warning. I just spent my last $500 paying off his car, and the rent is due tomorrow. FML

#20144316
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20955) - you deserved it (5174)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:35pm - love - by lilithfaye (woman) - United States

Today, I'm so broke, I asked my parents if they'd pay for me to go to the eye doctor and consider it my Christmas present. FML

#20149436
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20939) - you deserved it (1872)

On 11/05/2012 at 8:01pm - money - by EB - United States



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