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Tuesday 30 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML

#20148667
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14928) - you deserved it (1007)

On 11/05/2012 at 9:02am - misc - by liquorless (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML

#20138046
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14916) - you deserved it (812)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by tcm123 - United States (Illinois)

Today, to help me get over my crippling social anxiety, my therapist encouraged me to sing in front of a crowd, since I actually have a fine singing voice. I ended up fainting onstage, mid-song. FML

#20146765
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14782) - you deserved it (1193)

On 11/04/2012 at 2:28am - misc - by Chuffy (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I overheard my mom talking on the phone with my sister about how much they hate my fiancé. My wedding is in two weeks and my family has been pretending to like my future husband for three years. FML

#20148569
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14619) - you deserved it (1083)

On 11/05/2012 at 6:36am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML

#20149150
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14608) - you deserved it (1693)

On 11/05/2012 at 5:11pm - money - by Brooklyn - United States (Oregon)

Today, before leaving my house, I OCD-checked all of my doors 16 times to make sure that they were locked. When I got home, my house had been broken into. Turns out I accidentally unlocked my front door when trying to lock it for the last time. This is why I have OCD. FML

#20141026
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14568) - you deserved it (6589)

On 10/30/2012 at 11:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML

#20148363
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14320) - you deserved it (3016)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by poro123 - United Kingdom

Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML

#20144868
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14075) - you deserved it (2271)

On 11/02/2012 at 8:23pm - work - by YOUFUCKINGFUCKSOCK (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I work on a cruise ship, and I just learned that we have a morgue on board. How did I learn that? It's right next to the crew laundry room, and I opened the wrong door. It was occupied. FML

#20147788
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14013) - you deserved it (1010)

On 11/04/2012 at 7:02pm - work - by CircusSea (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I finally got to attend the concert I have been anticipating for weeks. The band was great. The drunk guy sitting behind me yelling profanity and out of tune lyrics in my ear throughout the entire show, however, was not. FML

#20144110
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13818) - you deserved it (1468)

On 11/02/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by annoyed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was complimented for having amazingly lifelike warts as part of my witch costume, and was asked how I achieved the effect so well. I didn't have the heart to admit they were just my pimples under green makeup. FML

#20138696
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13758) - you deserved it (1133)

On 10/29/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by mistickfae - United States

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

#20147226
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13591) - you deserved it (9926)

On 11/04/2012 at 12:12pm - animals - by spiderwoman (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I worked up the courage to give a guy my number. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, tore it in half and gave it to him. Later, I noticed I'd given him the wrong, blank half. FML

#20142410
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13477) - you deserved it (7070)

On 11/01/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)



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