Tuesday 30 October 2012 
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Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18081) - you deserved it (2103)
On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)
Today, I witnessed my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18041) - you deserved it (1910)
On 11/04/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by i fking love docb - Virgin Islands, U.S.
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by showing up at my work and proposing to me. It was sweet until an angry customer bitched us out for "wasting her time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18012) - you deserved it (2037)
On 10/31/2012 at 2:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17954) - you deserved it (3067) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)
Today, I was working in a call center when I smelled perfume. I'm allergic, and it triggered my asthma. When I came back, some jerk had sprayed it all over my work area. I couldn't go near it for the rest of my shift, therefore I had to go home early, and got my paycheck docked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17543) - you deserved it (1482)
On 11/02/2012 at 12:13am - work - by John - United States
Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17516) - you deserved it (1113)
On 11/03/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by xXfloatingshitlogXx (woman) - Norway (Akershus)
Today, I went to a big family dinner. I didn't realize I hadn't been invited until we were about to sit down to eat. There were 12 chairs, 12 plates, 12 forks, and 12 glasses. I was the 13th person to arrive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17512) - you deserved it (1750)
On 10/31/2012 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked at the doctor and seriously asked, "When do you circumcise the baby?" We had a baby girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17477) - you deserved it (1502)
On 10/29/2012 at 6:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I sampled some of the food my fiancée's mom is making for our wedding. Everything tasted terrible, and I almost vomited. Turns out she never actually went to culinary school as she claimed, but had just watched Julie and Julia. It's too late to book another caterer for the wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17372) - you deserved it (3479)
On 11/03/2012 at 3:42pm - health - by WeddingWoes (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was planning on enjoying my one day off work from the hospital, at home. I got a call saying I had to come in because my department was short-handed. I went in to find almost everyone there. Turns out it was a prank by my coworkers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17355) - you deserved it (1109)
Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17223) - you deserved it (2921)
On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States
Today, at daycare, a little girl cussed me out because I didn't have any apple juice left. When I called her parents, they sided with her and cussed me out too. My boss refused to sympathize, and reprimanded me for not making sure we still had apple juice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16946) - you deserved it (1565)
On 11/05/2012 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my company had a Halloween party. I was so excited seeing as our company never does anything, so I pulled out all the stops with my costume. I was the only one who got dressed up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16587) - you deserved it (1998)
On 11/02/2012 at 8:17am - work - by PieterseMJ - South Africa (Gauteng)
Friday 24 May 2013
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