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Saturday 27 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my daughter has a hit list. There are over thirty names on there. My name is on it as well. FML

#20135128
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20544) - you deserved it (3208)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I'm at home, sick with walking pneumonia and a raging UTI. Every time I cough, I piss myself. I'm now having to lie on a bath towel and garbage bags until the meds kick in. FML

#20145285
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20449) - you deserved it (1271)

On 11/03/2012 at 1:34am - health - by jdch_99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after weeks of wondering if my cat has a fetish for licking my bed covers, I finally witnessed him licking up an ant off of the covers. Turns out that my bed is infested with ants. FML

#20138030
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20405) - you deserved it (4419)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:23am - animals - by lifelike (woman) - United States (California)

Today, before leaving my house, I OCD-checked all of my doors 16 times to make sure that they were locked. When I got home, my house had been broken into. Turns out I accidentally unlocked my front door when trying to lock it for the last time. This is why I have OCD. FML

#20141026
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20398) - you deserved it (9132)

On 10/30/2012 at 11:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML

#20136801
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20344) - you deserved it (4003)

On 10/28/2012 at 10:53am - kids - by friedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at archery practice, I jokingly said that I'd kiss the next person to get a bullseye. They all made a point of missing their targets, some even shooting their arrows way off to the side. FML

#20146224
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20331) - you deserved it (6780)

On 11/03/2012 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working in a call center when I smelled perfume. I'm allergic, and it triggered my asthma. When I came back, some jerk had sprayed it all over my work area. I couldn't go near it for the rest of my shift, therefore I had to go home early, and got my paycheck docked. FML

#20143862
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20320) - you deserved it (1660)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:13am - work - by John - United States

Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML

#20131308
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20144) - you deserved it (1691)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:35pm - animals - by 12693 - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I babysat a 10-year-old and we played Pokémon. It was my first time playing, so he showed me. I ended up winning and the kid started crying and told his parents he hated me. They decided not to pay me for the night, and now I'm out of a job. FML

#20130128
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20105) - you deserved it (4067)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by Pokemon problems - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

#20130988
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20056) - you deserved it (990)

On 10/24/2012 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

#20139029
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20026) - you deserved it (2562)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm - misc - by Indianagirl94 (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were going through some troubles in our relationship, and she said to me, "No offense, but I really hope no other relationship I have in the future will be like this one." Some offense taken. FML

#20141147
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19970) - you deserved it (2460)

On 10/31/2012 at 12:22am - love - by anon (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML

#20134163
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19940) - you deserved it (2717)

On 10/26/2012 at 12:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Manila)



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