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Saturday 27 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML

#20135099
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23949) - you deserved it (6906)

On 10/27/2012 at 2:42am - work - by geena - United States (Illinois)

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

#20136968
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23677) - you deserved it (5201)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after weeks of wondering if my cat has a fetish for licking my bed covers, I finally witnessed him licking up an ant off of the covers. Turns out that my bed is infested with ants. FML

#20138030
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23627) - you deserved it (4902)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:23am - animals - by lifelike (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my manager made me stay at work for an extra four hours, making me miss an urgent specialist appointment I'd scheduled months ago. Why? Because her neighbor's dog was having puppies, and she wanted to go home early and see them. FML

#20143987
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23568) - you deserved it (2489)

On 11/02/2012 at 1:53am - work - by whytetrash - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I'm at home, sick with walking pneumonia and a raging UTI. Every time I cough, I piss myself. I'm now having to lie on a bath towel and garbage bags until the meds kick in. FML

#20145285
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23455) - you deserved it (1500)

On 11/03/2012 at 1:34am - health - by jdch_99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML

#20133890
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23416) - you deserved it (1925)

On 10/26/2012 at 3:58am - health - by Weasel123 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to break up. But not until after our anniversary tomorrow, because he's already gotten dinner reservations for us. FML

#20127937
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23405) - you deserved it (1595)

On 10/22/2012 at 5:01am - love - by reserved - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my daughter has a hit list. There are over thirty names on there. My name is on it as well. FML

#20135128
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23374) - you deserved it (3534)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while at a psychiatric hospital working as a student nurse, I discovered one of the patients had developed an unhealthy obsession for me. He was admitted for stalking and abusing a girl who looked just like me. It's only my first week. FML

#20127982
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23172) - you deserved it (1523)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML

#20141617
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22978) - you deserved it (1704)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:23pm - animals - by orilykid (man) - United States (California)

Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML

#20141826
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22969) - you deserved it (1547)

On 10/31/2012 at 5:03pm - work - by SoSoRachel - United States (Illinois)

Today, at archery practice, I jokingly said that I'd kiss the next person to get a bullseye. They all made a point of missing their targets, some even shooting their arrows way off to the side. FML

#20146224
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22790) - you deserved it (7264)

On 11/03/2012 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, trying to be nice, I asked my little sister how school was. She burst into a temper tantrum and screamed at me to fuck off. She's eight. FML

#20132869
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22776) - you deserved it (2178)

On 10/25/2012 at 3:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)



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