Saturday 27 October 2012 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18567) - you deserved it (2161)
On 10/23/2012 at 9:19pm - love - by SFra - United States
Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18369) - you deserved it (1552)
On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18329) - you deserved it (1221)
On 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Agirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18292) - you deserved it (2450)
On 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had my first orgasm. I also came to the realization that whenever I orgasm I get an uncontrollable case of hiccups for at least half an hour afterwards. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18218) - you deserved it (1949)
On 11/03/2012 at 11:52am - intimacy - by hiccups - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up with pink eye. My mom tried to help by putting drops in. It started burning like hell; she didn't understand why. It turns out she was putting ear drops in my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18187) - you deserved it (911)
On 10/25/2012 at 12:37am - health - by allison_fishing - United States
Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18100) - you deserved it (2342)
On 10/22/2012 at 1:29am - love - by sausagefingers (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18074) - you deserved it (2102)
On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by showing up at my work and proposing to me. It was sweet until an angry customer bitched us out for "wasting her time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18008) - you deserved it (2037)
On 10/31/2012 at 2:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17950) - you deserved it (3067) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)
Today, I finally found a cute dress that hugged my curves and hid my imperfections. I wore it to my friend's house, and was feeling pretty good about myself, until some pregnant woman walked into the room wearing the exact same thing. It was a maternity dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17949) - you deserved it (4618)
On 10/22/2012 at 12:09pm - misc - by preggersmcgee (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17940) - you deserved it (4953)
On 10/27/2012 at 2:42am - work - by geena - United States (Illinois)
Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to convert to a Christian. Not because she has a strong relation with God, but because she wants to post Facebook statuses about Him and "get a lot of likes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17785) - you deserved it (2031)
On 10/24/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
