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Wednesday 16 May 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML

#19644251
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17522) - you deserved it (3450)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm - money - by me (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML

#19627538
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17519) - you deserved it (5684)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:02pm - misc - by FML (woman) - Finland

Today, my boyfriend and I went mini golfing with his family. We had a competition going on, and when I managed to get two consecutive holes in one, he started seething and muttered that I'm dangerously close to becoming single. FML

#19652024
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17446) - you deserved it (1888)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:20pm - misc - by Jacquelinez (woman) - United States

Today, I was having dinner with my college friends to celebrate the end of our first year. I said really great things about them as individuals. The only thing they had to say to me was, "Thanks for being the token black friend." FML

#19624704
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17352) - you deserved it (1953)

On 05/14/2012 at 10:23pm - misc - by foreverbrown (man) - United States

Today, I found out that I am allergic to grass, and not supposed to mow lawns. My job is mowing lawns. FML

#19630951
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17321) - you deserved it (1297)

On 05/16/2012 at 3:36am - work - by jobless - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I sat down on a chair after my very large boss sat on it all day. When I got up, my pants were damp. FML

#19640975
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17260) - you deserved it (1598)

On 05/18/2012 at 7:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after dieting, rigorous exercising and a major lifestyle change, I have finally reached my fitness goal. My parents were more excited about my 17-year-old brother getting to 3rd base with his girlfriend. FML

#19670300
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17064) - you deserved it (1834)

On 05/23/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to see a once-in-a-lifetime moment when the Olympic torch passed through my town. I waited for 3 hours only to get a bruise from a man shoving me out of the way at the exact moment it went past. FML

#19667339
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17032) - you deserved it (1489)

On 05/23/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Notorch (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, we got a call that my brother stuck a rock up his nose and couldn't get it out. My mom had to pick him up and take him to the hospital. My brother is 20. FML

#19666346
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16858) - you deserved it (1200)

On 05/23/2012 at 2:13am - misc - by littlebigbrother - Japan

Today, it was the first time I was going to fly first class. I ended up in the bathroom almost the whole flight with diarrhea. FML

#19650597
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16743) - you deserved it (1273)

On 05/20/2012 at 6:21am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, someone threw an open soda can at me from a car. It missed, so they circled around and threw an unopened can. That one hit. FML

#19653798
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16592) - you deserved it (1061)

On 05/20/2012 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my fiancé emailed me some steamy pics. Too bad he forgot to erase "FWD:" from the subject line. FML

#19641657
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16591) - you deserved it (1381)

On 05/18/2012 at 12:05pm - love - by ohyesIfeelspecial (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML

#19631611
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16564) - you deserved it (7133)

On 05/16/2012 at 10:19am - love - by Coykoi - Canada (Saskatchewan)



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