Friday 17 February 2012 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20373) - you deserved it (2131)
On 02/15/2012 at 12:50pm - health - by TerribleAddiction - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20327) - you deserved it (3615)
On 02/16/2012 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by dummy - United States
Today, I was showing off my sexy new lingerie set to my boyfriend. While we were getting frisky, he got really into things and ripped it completely off my body, destroying it. It cost me $110. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20272) - you deserved it (15013)
On 02/18/2012 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by Lilah - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my dad made a new house rule: "If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down." My whole house now smells like pee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20028) - you deserved it (1668)
On 02/15/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by Bondi414 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I walked out and saw four kids mercilessly keying my car. When I questioned them on it, they said "Oh, that was your car? Oh well at least we didn't pee on your door handles too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19991) - you deserved it (1493)
On 02/14/2012 at 8:28pm - kids - by MC Turtledick - United States (Washington)
Today, after finally getting my newborn baby to sleep, I made a sign to put on the door asking people not to knock or ring the bell, since our 3 dogs will bark loudly and wake the baby. When I went to print the sign, my dogs barked like crazy at the sound of the printer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19898) - you deserved it (8153)
On 02/16/2012 at 4:42pm - kids - by TiredMom (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19799) - you deserved it (2861)
On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19758) - you deserved it (5991)
On 02/21/2012 at 10:33am - health - by mary (woman) - Australia
Today, I sneezed while I was in the middle of getting a root canal. I managed to warn the dentist that I was going to sneeze, but he didn't manage to get the tools out of my mouth in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19751) - you deserved it (1386)
On 02/17/2012 at 3:43pm - health - by Anon - United States
Today, I was talking to a friend about how many germs live on the average cell phone. My five year old son apparently overheard me talking, and decided to give my cell phone a bath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19717) - you deserved it (5012)
On 02/13/2012 at 4:23pm - kids - by Katherine - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19717) - you deserved it (1629)
On 02/20/2012 at 9:15pm - misc - by Carpet cleaner (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19584) - you deserved it (4306)
On 02/23/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by ZeroApostle4Ever - United States
Today, a hobo threw up on my car while at a red light. He then asked me for money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19578) - you deserved it (1450)
On 02/18/2012 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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