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April 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML

#21104415
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30344) - you deserved it (16624)

On 04/04/2014 at 1:26pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, my coworkers continued their new favorite game: staring at me in total unnerving silence. I can't help but be reminded of serial killers. FML

#21103796
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29844) - you deserved it (2574)

On 04/03/2014 at 4:53pm - work - by Welshite - United States

Today, I had to convince my 3-year-old son that there were monsters in the house just so he would lie in bed and cuddle me. FML

#21112742
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29761) - you deserved it (21391)

On 04/14/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by tinytiny1124 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I sat and watched the CEO of DreamWorks on TV misuse words such as "quantum". He's filthy rich, whereas I'm a savagely underpaid gardener. FML

Today, our family went to a water park. The park's mascot came up to greet us, and my daughter got scared. She then refused to go inside, so we had no choice but to leave. FML

#21114019
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29239) - you deserved it (4294)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:20pm - kids - by Someone (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking around school alone and felt someone tap my back. I laughed and turned around to find no one was there. I felt confused when I felt the tapping again, which is when I chose to yell at the nearest person, "What?!" I later found out it was a bottle in my backpack tapping me. FML

#21112284
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29180) - you deserved it (9339)

On 04/13/2014 at 9:32pm - misc - by ohmygod582 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my family and I went on a hike to a local abandoned gold mine, with the hopes of being able to explore the caves. What we didn't expect was four miles of treacherous, rocky, near vertical trails that led to the mine. Once we finally got there, exhausted, it was blocked off for safety reasons. FML

#21112302
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28687) - you deserved it (9752)

On 04/13/2014 at 9:57pm - misc - by bummed -

Today, after ten years, our sewing machine broke. My mom tried to return it back to the store she bought it from. FML

#21115731
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28278) - you deserved it (2439)

On 04/17/2014 at 7:24pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had my first car crash. I ran into a parked car and the owner saw it happen. I then accidentally opened my door straight into her car as well when I went to give her my information. FML

#21115410
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28193) - you deserved it (7956)

On 04/17/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML

#21116013
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27595) - you deserved it (8437)

On 04/18/2014 at 1:37am - misc - by Fatass - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I wanted to prove to my dad that I can drive, so that he'd let me use his car in future. Let's just say I helped him remove the fence that he was planning to repair. FML

#21112820
62 comments

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

#21116585
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25901) - you deserved it (2577)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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