Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37068) - you deserved it (2026)
On 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm - misc - by for the love of god (woman) - United States
Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me straight in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37013) - you deserved it (2810)
On 05/14/2013 at 12:48pm - work - by sumhub94 - United States
Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36854) - you deserved it (9192)
Today, my grandpa moved into the house to live with my family. Along with having to share a room with him, he swears that having the AC on will give him pneumonia, and he keeps saying he's "freezing" when the temperature inside gets below 85. We live in Nevada. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36812) - you deserved it (2630)
On 05/11/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was rushed to the ER due to a very swollen foot and high fever. The doctors said I just have a tissue infection but my parents believe I have a flesh eating disease. I can hear them discussing my future with an amputated leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36753) - you deserved it (1787)
On 05/09/2013 at 7:18pm - health - by iLikeMyLegs - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after finding out that I would never be able to move my dominant arm again, I decided to talk to my best friend about it because it was getting to me. She responded with, "It really bugs me that you made this conversation all about you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36728) - you deserved it (2099)
On 05/15/2013 at 7:43pm - health - by LordCrafte (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my brother's friend was about to drive home drunk, so I convinced him to think and not be stupid. It wasn't an invitation to puke on my floor then try to crawl into bed with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36635) - you deserved it (4616)
On 05/11/2013 at 5:52am - misc - by GaveAnInchTakeAMile (woman) - United States
Today, my boss asked me to read through a document. I gave my feedback, saying it seemed like it had been written by an 8-year-old. Turns out it was in fact written by him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36364) - you deserved it (12958)
On 05/08/2013 at 12:59pm - work - by anon_1996 - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, in the doctor's waiting room, a little boy asked me for a cookie. I told him that I didn't have any. He replied, "But my mom says that ladies with big butts always have cookies in their handbags." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35956) - you deserved it (4616) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/15/2013 at 2:58am - misc - by grossesfesses (woman) - France (Picardie)
Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35952) - you deserved it (2409)
On 05/13/2013 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)
Today, I did my small part to help the environment by hanging my clothes outside to dry rather than using the dryer. The birds showed their appreciation by crapping on the majority of my clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35940) - you deserved it (10401)
On 05/07/2013 at 1:10pm - animals - by hitchcock2013 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my daughter posted a beautiful, touching status on my Facebook wall for Mother's Day. It wasn't so touching that she'd just copied and pasted the one I wrote for her grandmother and sent it back to me, unedited. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35936) - you deserved it (3069)
On 05/12/2013 at 1:21pm - love - by mothers (woman) - United States
Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35909) - you deserved it (3237)
On 05/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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