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August 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after having multiple dreams where I have a daughter with my boyfriend, I'm now emotionally attached to a child who isn't real, and I get depressed when I can't be with her in real life. FML

#21237524
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36008) - you deserved it (7781)

On 08/14/2014 at 3:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML

#21229943
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35924) - you deserved it (16313)

On 08/05/2014 at 8:31am - kids - by ihatespiders (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I fell asleep in the doctor's waiting room. When I woke up, the room was empty, and there was a $1 bill tucked into my cleavage. FML

#21232452
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35810) - you deserved it (5937)

On 08/08/2014 at 10:43am - misc - by freakedout (woman) - United States

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

#21241122
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35740) - you deserved it (9841)

On 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

#21232670
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35720) - you deserved it (11435)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States

Today, on Facebook, all these parents posted photos of their child's last first day of high school, saying they were so proud as they left for senior year. It was my first day of senior year today, but my parents just gave me a high-five for not doing drugs. FML

#21240784
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35735) - you deserved it (7621)

On 08/19/2014 at 12:11am - kids - by morgie96 - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was driving, a massive cockroach clicked its way across my windshield. I pulled over to fling it out the window, but it spread its wings and flew around like a hook-armed stabbing machine. I lost it in the dark car and now I can't find it. It's going to be a long drive home. FML

#21230826
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35722) - you deserved it (3831)

On 08/06/2014 at 9:34am - animals - by Baustigt - Australia

Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate their marriage, we spent most of the service being lectured by the priest on how women are a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and are the cause of all the world's problems. FML

#21233096
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35710) - you deserved it (3087)

On 08/09/2014 at 4:56am - misc - by Anonymous - Malawi

Today, my brother decided our bathroom needed a clock so he used an old DVD player. He put it on the edge of the tub. FML

#21229931
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35608) - you deserved it (3240)

On 08/05/2014 at 7:55am - misc - by Anonymous - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, upon arriving at a town festival, I was immediately singled out by a rent-a-cop. He began questioning if I had been drinking, saying he smelt it on my breath. He smelt his own breath. FML

#21227846
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35545) - you deserved it (2548)

On 08/02/2014 at 7:44pm - misc - by porkabye (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35540) - you deserved it (6555)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, my boss threatened to write me up, after I made a slightly rude joke about a coworker everyone hates. A while later, a colleague told me the same joke. Turns out my boss had gone around telling it to everyone else and taking all the credit. FML

#21242576
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35301) - you deserved it (4586)

On 08/21/2014 at 4:16pm - work - by jalisc512 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while I was waiting for the train, a woman sat next to me. Her dog jumped up between us and I started petting it. She took this to mean we were now close enough for her to tell me in detail about her experience so far going through the menopause. FML

#21228437
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35295) - you deserved it (3724)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Skane Lan)



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