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October 2016

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Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML

by MulticoloredSlug / 10/13/2016 at 6:57am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I just received the king-sized bed I'd ordered. My boyfriend moved out two days ago when we broke up. FML

by Miss_Whipped / 10/14/2016 at 2:04am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I finally bought my first car after saving around £5000 and finding an absolute bargain that ticked all the boxes! Today was also the day of my first ever car accident, resulting in the car being written off by an uninsured driver. I had it less than 9 hours. FML

by One_Wheel_Wonder / 10/06/2016 at 11:36am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after spending over two hours cleaning my kitchen from top to bottom, my 5-year-old then runs in, yells, “Snowstorm!” and throws a bag of flour all over the floor. FML

by jaimpastaggle / 10/06/2016 at 10:24am / France / Kids

Today, I told my boyfriend the exact moment I fell in love with him: when we made eye contact in a crowd on our fifth date. He asked if I wanted to know what he was thinking at that moment. I then found out it was, "I really hope she can't smell that fart." FML

by saashtow / 10/07/2016 at 1:00am / United States (Georgia) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I called maintenance for the fifth time about our sink, which leaks as much water from under the handle as comes out the spout. Apparently, they'd rather come up and tighten it every week than replace the washer. FML

by KillerChipmunk / 10/10/2016 at 7:54pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I told the doctor that one of my ribs sticks out farther than the other. When I lifted my shirt to show him, he immediately laughed and said, "Whoa, that's not subtle is it!" As if I wasn't already insecure about it. FML

by justmyluck5150 / 10/17/2016 at 1:58pm / United States / Health

Today, I purpose woke up early so that I could be prepared for a class taught by a professor who thinks I'm an idiot. This professor was the first to tell me that I'm 2 hours early and asked very slowly if I know how schedules worked. She seriously sounded concerned. FML

by Ughhhhh / 10/03/2016 at 12:18pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I called in about a job application I put in over a week ago. Apparently, the branch of the company that I applied to was never given my information, and the position was filled days ago. I've been checking the status of the position online daily, and it still says that it's open. FML

by PhantomKitty / 10/20/2016 at 11:07pm / United States (West Virginia) / Work

Today, my husband brought me breakfast in bed. Don't get me wrong, I'm very thankful and love him even more for the thought. But the only problem with breakfast in bed is that you have to eat what they bring you, even if it's bad. FML

by B.B / 10/07/2016 at 10:03am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, in a department store, a woman with a parrot sitting on her shoulder was trying to return a coffee maker. She explained that she had to return the coffee maker because the bird didn't like it sitting on the kitchen counter. FML

by oped01 / 10/17/2016 at 8:15pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I found out why my thesis supervisor made me change my whole project I was working on for the past 3 months. Apparently, he had another student doing the same thing and they published it today. FML

by mixedupminx / 10/06/2016 at 10:11am / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Work

Today, I told my wife that she gets 100% of me and I keep nothing from her. She told me she doesn't want it and that I should get counseling. FML

by Rejected / 10/03/2016 at 12:00pm / United States (Washington) / Love