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February 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while skiing down a steep mountain, a man ran over my skis, causing me to fall and roll down the slope. When I regained my balance, I saw the man had followed me just to say "How graceful" and continue on. FML

#21355416
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26484) - you deserved it (1977)

On 02/13/2015 at 3:31pm - misc - by jostertoaster12 - United States (Colorado)

Today, it was the day my catheter was to be removed. The nurse removing it deflated the balloon, and then tried pulling it out. After me screaming in extreme pain, she found out she hadn't actually deflated the balloon all the way. She was trying to pull a small balloon through my dick hole. FML

#21362632
106 comments

Today, my boss used Siri to settle a debate we were having in our team meeting. Siri responded by calling him "Daddy". FML

Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML

#21356030
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26263) - you deserved it (2357)

On 02/14/2015 at 3:04pm - love - by hopeless - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find no toilet paper and a piece of shitty wallpaper in the bowl. FML

#21350250
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25995) - you deserved it (2356)

On 02/05/2015 at 10:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, whilst walking to a primary school to give pupils a lesson on cleanliness, I tripped and landed on a dog turd. FML

#21359149
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25935) - you deserved it (2731)

On 02/19/2015 at 11:06am - misc - by anonymous - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML

#21347765
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25856) - you deserved it (2412)

On 02/01/2015 at 1:13pm - health - by Why's it so cold in here? - United States

Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML

#21360063
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25816) - you deserved it (2116)

On 02/20/2015 at 9:54pm - animals - by fml (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I have spent so much time watching Scooby Doo with my son that I actually used the word "zoinks". FML

#21352876
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25589) - you deserved it (4850)

On 02/09/2015 at 6:07pm - kids - by brazo667 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to an ATM intending to withdraw $150. I approached the machine, inserted my card, typed in my pin and followed the prompts. When my card came out, I removed it, put it in my pocket and drove off. FML

Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML

#21361960
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25353) - you deserved it (1949)

On 02/23/2015 at 6:42pm - work - by Confused and Disgusted - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it's been three days since I started working 12-hour night shifts. My neighbors have now decided to renovate their house. They're focusing on the rooms sharing my wall. FML

#21363273
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25319) - you deserved it (1773)

On 02/25/2015 at 11:53am - misc - by need sleep - United States (Maryland)



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Friday 27 February 2015

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