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March 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it's been a week since I was dumped. I planned to stay at my apartment, cry and eat chocolate in peace. My roommate decided to have loud sex with her boyfriend in the apartment. She refused to quiet down, saying "My body, my rules." FML

#21379056
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25724) - you deserved it (3445)

On 03/21/2015 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by stoprubbingitinmyface (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, an old man approached me at work. I smiled and asked, "Hi, can I help you"? He looked at me for a few seconds before replying, "Fuck me, you need to lose some weight!" and then wandering off. FML

#21379495
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25731) - you deserved it (3130)

On 03/22/2015 at 1:41pm - work - by { o } (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I noticed that whenever I don't give the homeless guy around the corner some money, my side mirrors get stolen. FML

Today, I baked a cake for when my mum came home. I did everything I needed to do and put it in the oven, set the timer and went to do some things around the house. When my mum came home, she asked why there was a uncooked cake mix sitting in the oven. I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

#21376702
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25589) - you deserved it (7871)

On 03/17/2015 at 10:12pm - misc - by non-baker - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got fired for having a visible tattoo on my neck. The tattoo in question is a scar from a surgery I had 2 months ago. The same one paid for by my employer's insurance and missed 2 weeks of work for. FML

#21381191
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25591) - you deserved it (1566)

On 03/25/2015 at 8:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, after 4 years of nicely asking, I wrote an official memo to our logistics department, asking for new chairs for my subordinates. The logistics people came and concluded that there are more broken chairs than good ones, but suggested that perhaps we should all go on a diet. FML

#21372747
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25531) - you deserved it (2540)

On 03/11/2015 at 8:36pm - work - by Matei - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my boss insisted I go in front of him up the stairs. Out of respect, I insisted he go first. After a few seconds of back and forth insisting, he went. The reason he wanted me to go first was because he had to fart. I inhaled the raunchy gas for over three flights of stairs. FML

#21376143
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25443) - you deserved it (10792)

On 03/17/2015 at 2:12am - work - by Boss Troubles - United States (California)

Today, I received a rejection letter from a job I desperately wanted. Yesterday, the job offer I'd been stalling on in while waiting for news about this one expired. FML

#21367239
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25377) - you deserved it (8644)

On 03/03/2015 at 12:18pm - work - by badtiming (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, my husband used the vacuum cleaner. Proud of him for this first-ever initiative, I congratulated him. His second initiative was to stick the nozzle on my ass, yelling, "Liposuction!" FML

#21380706
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25224) - you deserved it (4062) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/24/2015 at 8:58am - love - by chassezlenaturel (woman) - Belgium

Today, I had my 18th birthday party. At midnight, three police officers showed up at my door and asked if they could look around. Were we doing anything bad? Nope. My friends suck at parking. Before they left, the officers said that this was the most toned down party they'd seen in years. FML

#21379703
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25043) - you deserved it (2805)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:20pm - misc - by dicedicebaby - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying at my after-wedding party, after promising she'd behave herself. She thinks my husband is an awful person who'll drag me into a life of sin, all because he has a tattoo and an ear piercing. FML

#21379352
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24961) - you deserved it (2371)

On 03/22/2015 at 5:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was given a new responsibility at the law firm where I work. I'm now in charge of punching holes in every single piece of paper to be found in the office, estimated to be in the hundred-thousands. The reason? I finish my daily clerical work too quickly. FML

#21372587
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24952) - you deserved it (2145)

On 03/11/2015 at 4:15pm - work - by KillMePlease (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

#21378385
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24869) - you deserved it (3074)

On 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)



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