Today, I learned my husband has what he calls "grumpy wife sex" specifically to cheer me up. I don't know if I'm more annoyed that he casually mentioned it after we've been together for 10 years, or that it actually works. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35078) - you deserved it (9909)
On 05/02/2013 at 11:59am - intimacy - by MommaAnnie (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I reconnected with my best friend from childhood, and after a tearful confession, found out that for most of my engagement to my husband, she was repeatedly connecting with his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35060) - you deserved it (2215)
On 05/19/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34895) - you deserved it (2819)
On 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by jfc, how just how (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)
Today, as with every day, I had to endure my roommate talking to his wife in a baby voice. This is a grown man, who has had a beard since junior high, who literally talks to her like you would a puppy or a baby. Someone kill me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34812) - you deserved it (6303)
On 05/09/2013 at 2:49am - misc - by fml0505 (man) - United States
Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34760) - you deserved it (17111)
On 05/19/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, I was at dance rehearsal. As a male dancer I like to keep the fact that I dance a secret because of the stupid stereotypes male dancers have. This plan was quickly shot down when I discovered I was performing at my school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34550) - you deserved it (4597)
On 05/03/2013 at 8:39pm - misc - by DeActivated (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I posted a Facebook status about how I hoped to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend. A couple of hours later, I saw a comment on it saying he'd never done anything bad enough to deserve that kind of torment. Thanks, mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34376) - you deserved it (7084)
On 05/15/2013 at 12:12pm - love - by lackadaisy_leah - United States
Today, I had my first job as a wedding planner. I'd spent a year making sure everything was right. After the wedding my friend comforted me by saying, "You had to have known it wasn't going to be perfect." I knew that it wouldn't be perfect, but I had expected the groom to at least show up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34369) - you deserved it (2187)
On 05/21/2013 at 12:10am - work - by future walmart employee (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I received a notice that if I don't move the abandoned vehicle from outside my house it will be repossessed at my expense. My car isn't abandoned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34328) - you deserved it (3229)
On 05/14/2013 at 1:29am - misc - by CrappyCar (woman) - United States
Today, my dog had her stomach pumped because she ate some cookies. The 100 cookies I made for a bake sale to be exact. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34266) - you deserved it (5247)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:50am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34245) - you deserved it (9598)
On 05/17/2013 at 10:59pm - love - by moo... -
Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33941) - you deserved it (3372)
On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, at work, my boss made me go outside and wash people's cars for free. I work at Verizon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33794) - you deserved it (3050)
On 05/21/2013 at 2:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Friday 24 May 2013
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