Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML

#21398409
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23659) - you deserved it (7048)

On 04/23/2015 at 9:43am - misc - by almost_a_pro - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I received a terrible grade for an essay I worked really hard on. I had two friends, one being an English major, check it over. However, apparently I "clearly didn't use spellcheck" on this essay just like the last one I submitted to her. FML

#21394988
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23482) - you deserved it (4962)

On 04/16/2015 at 11:34pm - work - by shaifox96 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at my cousin's wedding, there was a bouquet toss. I jumped to catch it, only to get knocked down and crushed by a woman twice my size who'd jumped backwards. It still feels like someone shattered my ribs with a sledgehammer. FML

#21387046
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23424) - you deserved it (2245)

On 04/03/2015 at 2:08pm - health - by glocked and goaded (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while going down on my boyfriend, I must have gotten a little too enthusiastic because I ripped my tongue's frenulum. We then awkwardly went into the bathroom. While he was washing the blood off his penis, I was hung over the toilet bowl puking because blood makes me woozy. FML

Today, my prom dress came in the mail. I don't know what happened with the tailoring but not only does it not fit, but it also looks like deli meat. FML

#21396978
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23265) - you deserved it (2846)

On 04/20/2015 at 5:41pm - misc - by Deli meat prom - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend asked me to take my belt off as the buckle was hurting her leg. I didn't have a belt on. FML

#21385195
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23264) - you deserved it (4257)

On 04/01/2015 at 3:40am - intimacy - by zetuga (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, my elderly dad once again asked me to make a reservation at a restaurant for him and a younger woman he's been seeing. Meanwhile, I haven't had anything even approaching a real date in over a decade. FML

#21386446
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23063) - you deserved it (2857)

On 04/02/2015 at 10:19am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, I was sent the script to a play I'm participating in at school. After reading it a couple of times, I noticed that my part has been forgotten completely. FML

#21386014
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22701) - you deserved it (1695)

On 04/01/2015 at 6:09pm - misc - by ThirteenThirteen (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I got disappointed when I realized that I had to share a bed with my husband because we had company over. FML

#21389862
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22444) - you deserved it (16182)

On 04/08/2015 at 6:52am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, teachers were pulling students out of class to announce valedictorian, salutatorian, and other awards for graduation. I got pulled out of class by one of them, and I got a little excited since I wasn't expecting an award. It was to tell me that my sister was staying after school. FML

Today, the pills my doctor prescribed for my extremely painful period cramps apparently have a side effect; excruciatingly painful cramps. I feel like I'm being repeatedly stabbed in the ovaries with a rusty fork. FML

#21398967
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22231) - you deserved it (1631)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:18am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my classmate to look over my essay. His comments were longer than the essay itself. FML

#21398217
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22145) - you deserved it (4591)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:53pm - misc - by englishornah (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass the whole match. As a joke, I told them to marry me. Turned out the person was a horny 40-something lesbian stalker who spent the next 5 hours sending me pictures and trying to find out where I live. FML

#21398988
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21934) - you deserved it (4319)

On 04/24/2015 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: