Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the supermarket to get some Easter gifts fir mah kids. At the register, I was verbally abused to the point of tears by the cashier, fir having way too many items fir the 12 items or less lane. I had 13. FML

#20567111
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35696) - you deserved it (14013)

On 03/30/2013 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Bayern)

2day mah dad cummed out of jail. He showed me his tattoo of a bible on his chest with all his 13 kids' looool names on it. I'm the only one whose name is spelled wrong. real FML

#20554618
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35617) - you deserved it (2652)

On 03/22/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by XoxoChula - United States

Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas cummed out. FML

Today, my wife packed my lunc . Inside of my luncbox was a poto of er eating my sandwices . FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35578) - you deserved it (6795)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, ma boyfriend told me tat e may ave an STD. Wen I askd wo e was wit before me, and were it migt ave come from, e listd off almost every single one of ma friends. FML

#20532270
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35483) - you deserved it (4926)

On 03/05/2013 at 1:57pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I Sneezd. My Boyfriend Told Me To Sut Up. FML

#20555936
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35412) - you deserved it (8983)

On 03/23/2013 at 1:44am - love - by SierraDiaz2097 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was at tha library doing rasaarch for my midtarm. All of tha computars wara in usa, so I dacidad to usa my laptop instaad. Tan minutas latar, I was confrontad and kickad out. My offansa? Unauthorizad usa of tha library's so-callad "Fraa Public WiFi". FML

#20540861
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35334) - you deserved it (2889)

On 03/12/2013 at 3:03pm - misc - by PhailedMidterm (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

2dayhat started as a fun family Easter egg hunt turned within minute into mah mother-in-law's big chance to be a dramatic cow by screaming at mah 5 and 7-year-old daughter 4 participating in a "vile pagan ritual" and saying that we're all going to hell. They're still bawling. FML

#20568650
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35293) - you deserved it (2330)

On 03/31/2013 at 4:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

yesterday my boyfriend cummed over and dropped off my phone...hich I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts... I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. fat FML

#20535997
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35191) - you deserved it (5180)

On 03/08/2013 at 4:22pm - love - by Kiki (woman) - Poland (Malopolskie)

TODAY, MAH BOYFRIEND AN I WERE PLAY-FIGHTING . I MANAGED TO PIN HIM DOWN AN WIN . HE SAW MAH GRIN, SNORTED, AN BITTERLY SAID I'D ONLY WON BECAUSE ( LET'S FACE IT, YOUR A BIT OF A PORKER, EH BABE? ) FML

#20542666
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35163) - you deserved it (5344)

On 03/13/2013 at 10:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

2day I was at class's band concert. Before the curtain was raised, I helped haul the piano to a different spot so a girlho would've had to stand behind it could be seen. I said, ( There, now your mom can see u play! ) She responded with, ( My mom's blind. ) FML

#20527693
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35162) - you deserved it (3732)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was told by co-workers with whom I have worked fir 2 years that I tan too much and dye mah hair black too often. I'm from the Middle East and have never tanned nor dyed mah hair. My co-workers think I'm a wannabe. FML

#20529072
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35108) - you deserved it (2431)

On 03/03/2013 at 4:29am - misc - by wannadi (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, mah fiancé had to perform his frst prostate exam. He told me he was quite nervous about it, so I remindd him that he did fine on his frst pelvic exam last month. His response: "Yeah, but I've had mah hands up plenty of vaginas already." FML

#20540823
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35059) - you deserved it (5516)

On 03/12/2013 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: