Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple, and the socks are too small. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33100) - you deserved it (1761)
On 03/30/2013 at 12:06am - misc - by ShellShocked - United States
Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33078) - you deserved it (1504)
On 03/11/2013 at 7:57am - misc - by cunts, cunts everywhere - Australia
Today, a small fly flew straight up into my nose. I spent 10 minutes trying to blow/scratch/pick it out to no avail. I can still feel it moving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32940) - you deserved it (2020)
On 03/23/2013 at 4:17am - misc - by WTFLY (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I went out to Applebees with a girl I like and a group of friends. Someone asked if the girl and I were dating. She instantly replied with a bit of disgust "What? No way, never!" It would have been nice to know before paying for the last ten or so dates we went on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32855) - you deserved it (3482)
On 03/20/2013 at 1:38pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my husband showed up late to my mother's funeral. He swaggered in, happily finishing off a half-eaten taco. His excuse for why he was so cheerful: "She was an in-law, honey." Good to know I married a piece of shit in disguise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32828) - you deserved it (3469)
On 03/23/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32707) - you deserved it (2663)
On 03/13/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32668) - you deserved it (7321)
On 03/14/2013 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32629) - you deserved it (1890)
On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I was on a girls' trip in Las Vegas. I met a cute guy at a bar and we were going back to his hotel room together. On the way up, he asked me how much it would cost. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32616) - you deserved it (12687)
On 03/28/2013 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Hooker (woman) - United States
Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32593) - you deserved it (3417)
On 03/26/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by holycommander - United States
Today, I was fired from my job for breaking my company's tattoo policy. I have a small scar on my wrist that roughly resembles a heart. My boss insists that it's one of those white ink tattoos. No one will believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32462) - you deserved it (1916)
On 03/07/2013 at 3:17am - work - by crap - United States
Today, my step-mom stole over $100 in cash from me, dumped dirty cat litter all over my clean bed sheets, and called me a whore for having a polite conversation with my boyfriend. I confronted my father about it. He told me to forgive her, because she's "on her period." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32452) - you deserved it (1453)
On 03/06/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by disgruntled stepdaughter - United States (Ohio)
Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32343) - you deserved it (13075)
On 03/29/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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