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March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple, and the socks are too small. FML

#20566329
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38425) - you deserved it (2677)

On 03/30/2013 at 12:06am - misc - by ShellShocked - United States

Today, I announced to my family that I got accepted into Harvard. My grandma laughed and muttered, "Liar." FML

#20567796
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38388) - you deserved it (2880)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my roommates decided to hold an intervention. They told me I would have to break up with my boyfriend because they don't want people having sex in our apartment during college exams. My boyfriend agreed. FML

#20558428
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38342) - you deserved it (5102)

On 03/24/2013 at 7:21pm - intimacy - by Tooloud (woman) - Canada

Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML

#20545866
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38298) - you deserved it (3672)

On 03/16/2013 at 8:17am - misc - by nomorecleaning (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was fired from my job for breaking my company's tattoo policy. I have a small scar on my wrist that roughly resembles a heart. My boss insists that it's one of those white ink tattoos. No one will believe me. FML

#20534364
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38292) - you deserved it (2273)

On 03/07/2013 at 3:17am - work - by crap - United States

Today, I was hit by a car in a parking lot. The person sped off; I broke three ribs. My parents screamed at me for not getting the driver's info. FML

#20565033
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38286) - you deserved it (2564)

On 03/29/2013 at 4:33am - misc - by TheRuleEnforcer (man) - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when my upstairs neighbor decided to take the longest piss known to man. He moaned the entire time. FML

#20545680
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38128) - you deserved it (4324)

On 03/16/2013 at 2:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, as I was walking with my boyfriend, holding hands, a woman began screaming at us about how we "f*ggots" are "ruining America." I'm a girl. FML

#20551759
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38018) - you deserved it (4151)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:54am - love - by Too manly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it, it had a virus on it, and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML

#20559514
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38019) - you deserved it (6996)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by grossed out - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, after my 5-year-old finally got over his grandmother's death, we went to a store and saw a lady that looked exactly like her. She came up to us asking if we saw her grandson; I can't get my son to stop freaking out. FML

#20535134
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38015) - you deserved it (2251)

On 03/07/2013 at 8:55pm - kids - by Maxie - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML

#20561180
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38005) - you deserved it (4637)

On 03/26/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by holycommander - United States

Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML

#20549421
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37953) - you deserved it (3089)

On 03/18/2013 at 3:38pm - love - by Maggie - United States

Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML

#20553379
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37923) - you deserved it (19440)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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