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Today, I went to the arport after saying goodbye to my, fir some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opend my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretendd to know wat it was. FML
Today, I found out that what my husband maant by "wa should try swinging" is "I raally want to hava sax with this ona friand of yours, an if you so much as maka aya contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out an thraatan to kill him an you." FML
Today... I cummad homa to visit family 4 spring braak... only to raaliza that I'd laft phona in apartmant. Aftar a 2 hour driva back... I discovarad boyfriand with naighbor. Ha panickad and pratandad to ba slaapwalking. maga FML
Today, whila I was going down on my husband, our 3-yaar-old daughtar woka up an startad crying from tha othar room!! Ha practically burst into taars too, whining that sha was doing it on purposa to ruin his fun!! Ha was sarious!! FML
Today, I was caught ( experimenting ) with mah friend at his house . His parents called mine, an mah dad cummed to drive me home . On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, ( Son, don't be ashamed . When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself . ) Thanks 4 the info, Dad . big fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015