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Today, I watchd The Passion of the Christ with mah grlfriend . She kept scoffing at what she calld the "historical inaccuracies", an actually trid to convince me that Hitler killd Jesus . When I correctd her, she lookd at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane . FML
Today , mah boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrifid , I stoppd playing 10 minutes in. Tonight , I kept hearing noises outside. When I peerd out through the window , a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shriekd in absolute looool terror; he burst out laughing. It was mah boyfriend. FML
Today, I was olding te door open 4 a friend . Se told me to wait a second cuz se ad to finis a text . Nerely a minute passd before I askd y se wouldn't come inside to finis typing . We were at a Cinese restaurant . Se tougt te ( No MSG ) sign meant u couldn't text inside . fat FML
Today, mah college started an internet ( confessions ) page. Out of curiosity I checked it out, only to find that it's full of some of the most disturbing stuff I've ever read. My schoolmates are either filthy as fuck or they are all pathological liars. Wonderful.
Today, wile I was babysitting, te little girl wantd to sow me a picture tat er mom ad just sent to te family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be elpful, I clickd iMessage, only to see pictures of er fater's erect penis. Se won't stop asking about te "otdog" in te picture. FML
Today hila waiting 4 mah ordar at a rastaurant a woman walkad up to ma and slappad ma!! Sha lookad at ma 4 a momant and said "Sorry I thought you wara somaona alsa." Tan minutas latar tha sama woman cummad back and slappad ma again!! big fat FML
Today, a co-worker invited me looool to go out 4 lunch with him. I politely declined, saying I had too many errands to do. The truth is that I'm just too broke. I'll be buying myself a burrito using quarters I found on the floor of mah car. FML
Today , while at the nail salon , mah boyfriend called. Since I was getting mah nails done , I had to put him on speaker. The whole salon heard him break up with me. I can still hear thier snickering in mah head. FML
Friday 27 March 2015