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February 2013

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Today, I watchd The Passion of the Christ with mah grlfriend . She kept scoffing at what she calld the "historical inaccuracies", an actually trid to convince me that Hitler killd Jesus . When I correctd her, she lookd at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane . FML

#20498635
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33367) - you deserved it (4826)

On 02/08/2013 at 7:44pm - love - by and she doesn't even give bjs (man) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today , mah boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrifid , I stoppd playing 10 minutes in. Tonight , I kept hearing noises outside. When I peerd out through the window , a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shriekd in absolute looool terror; he burst out laughing. It was mah boyfriend. FML

#20520443
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33361) - you deserved it (4979)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by stillfuckingcrying (woman) - Sweden (Kalmar Lan)

Today, I was olding te door open 4 a friend . Se told me to wait a second cuz se ad to finis a text . Nerely a minute passd before I askd y se wouldn't come inside to finis typing . We were at a Cinese restaurant . Se tougt te ( No MSG ) sign meant u couldn't text inside . fat FML

#20519764
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33301) - you deserved it (3623)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, mah college started an internet ( confessions ) page. Out of curiosity I checked it out, only to find that it's full of some of the most disturbing stuff I've ever read. My schoolmates are either filthy as fuck or they are all pathological liars. Wonderful.

#20524030
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33240) - you deserved it (4660)

On 02/27/2013 at 2:17am - intimacy - by panicelement (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today the guy that I've likd for ahile but never had the courage to talk to was wereing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly askd ( Are u the Doctor? ) His response was for me to ( Go away f***ing nerd. ) FML

#20492128
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33104) - you deserved it (4026)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm - love - by guessnot (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, wile I was babysitting, te little girl wantd to sow me a picture tat er mom ad just sent to te family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be elpful, I clickd iMessage, only to see pictures of er fater's erect penis. Se won't stop asking about te "otdog" in te picture. FML

#20509000
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33061) - you deserved it (3134)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03am - kids - by Scarlett (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today,hila I was studying 4 an axam, youngar sistar cummad homa axtramaly drunk and thraw up all ovar harsalf and har bad. I latar got groundad 4 not satting a battar axampla. FML

#20525412
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33031) - you deserved it (2336)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:02am - misc - by catdog552 - United States

Today hila waiting 4 mah ordar at a rastaurant a woman walkad up to ma and slappad ma!! Sha lookad at ma 4 a momant and said "Sorry I thought you wara somaona alsa." Tan minutas latar tha sama woman cummad back and slappad ma again!! big fat FML

#20502782
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33028) - you deserved it (2433)

On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States

Today... I emailed 10 parents inviting them to my son's birthday party. All 10 emailed back saying their kids had to get a cavity filled. mega FML

#20517380
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32929) - you deserved it (3413)

On 02/22/2013 at 9:51am - kids - by Paris101 - United States (Missouri)

Today, ma fater gave me is blessing to be married on one condition: tat I keep ma maiden name wen I marry. My fiancé tougt it would be "epic". My last name will be ypenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

#20509329
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32895) - you deserved it (5561)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)

Today, a co-worker invited me looool to go out 4 lunch with him. I politely declined, saying I had too many errands to do. The truth is that I'm just too broke. I'll be buying myself a burrito using quarters I found on the floor of mah car. FML

Today, I had my gallbladder removed. I have a very painful incision in my belly that makes any kind of movement excruciating. I've had the hiccup 5 times so far. big fat FML

Today , while at the nail salon , mah boyfriend called. Since I was getting mah nails done , I had to put him on speaker. The whole salon heard him break up with me. I can still hear thier snickering in mah head. FML

#20521938
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32683) - you deserved it (6684)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by HeatherRosure18 - United States (Illinois)



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