Today, I called security at my school because I left my mittens in a classroom and it was locked. When the security officer showed up, he asked if the mittens I was looking for were the ones on my hands. I even had to take one of them off to call them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7341) - you deserved it (40944)
On 02/05/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by swarm20 - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6734) - you deserved it (37137)
On 02/13/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, at work I got in an elevator to go upstairs. It wasn't until the doors opened minutes later and people stepped in that I realized I had zoned out and forgot to press the button for the floor I needed. I then promptly exited the elevator and waited for the next elevator to go up in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6689) - you deserved it (14965)
On 02/19/2013 at 5:03pm - work - by CaBur (man) - United States (California)
Today, as my lame excuse to not give a guy I met at a club my phone number, I told him I didn't have a cell phone. Guess what I checked when he asked me what time it was a few minutes later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5908) - you deserved it (35054)
On 02/18/2013 at 10:21pm - misc - by hhhhhhhpeterwut - United States (Maryland)
Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4980) - you deserved it (32869)
On 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I had a ride along in an ambulance. Being observant, I thought it was funny that a patient had to vomit. That was until I realized they couldn't control where they had to vomit. I spent the rest of the ambulance ride holding a vomit bag in front of the woman's face. Not so funny anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4795) - you deserved it (36464)
On 02/08/2013 at 12:45am - work - by Kybo5 - United States (California)
Today, a cute girl asked if my dog was available for a date on Valentine's Day. Thinking I was in luck, I asked if I should come along. She said no. My dog has better game than I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (226) - you deserved it (1759)
On 02/12/2013 at 4:50pm - animals - by Doggotmytongue - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
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