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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML

#20519170
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23404) - you deserved it (3856)

On 02/23/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by singleandthankful (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

#20517914
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23375) - you deserved it (2414)

On 02/22/2013 at 7:31pm - health - by arse of fire :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, my boyfriend and I arrived at our pre-paid hotel for a romantic evening. When we went to sign in, they had no reservation for us, however they did yesterday. The payment is non-refundable. FML

#20493202
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23363) - you deserved it (4774)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:47pm - money - by perfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a new roommate after having a horrible relationship with the previous one. She seemed nice at first, until our first night together. She got completely wasted, spilled beer all over my bed and blew chunks into my fish tank. FML

#20513351
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23360) - you deserved it (1712)

On 02/19/2013 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML

#20497093
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23205) - you deserved it (1626)

On 02/07/2013 at 2:44pm - animals - by shaviTuT (woman) - Malaysia (Johor)

Today, working as a waitress, I was asked by a customer, yet again, how my baby was doing. I don't have a baby, but I do look very similar to my 25-year-old coworker, who's a new mom. People confuse us all the time. Unfortunately, my crush, who was standing nearby, doesn't know that. FML

#20504501
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23087) - you deserved it (1910)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I unknowingly bought a house next to a former toxic waste dump. I found out by reading an article in the paper where residents are claiming that they are experiencing cancer and birth defects. FML

#20503049
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23070) - you deserved it (4562)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by toxic waste - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that my cat recently had explosive diarrhea, and couldn't make it to the litterbox in time. I discovered this when I stepped in the very, very fresh poop with my bare feet. FML

#20503744
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23059) - you deserved it (3354)

On 02/12/2013 at 3:15pm - animals - by Turdfoot (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on the treadmill at the gym, when I felt my pants start slipping. I tried to pull them up, but lost my balance and fell face-first onto the floor. When I go to my wedding tomorrow, half the guests will probably think I've exchanged my fiancé for Chris Brown. FML

#20489307
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23042) - you deserved it (2892)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

#20524651
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22984) - you deserved it (1916)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)

Today, I spoke to my crush for the first time, and after a while he asked for my number. Ecstatic, I took the first piece of paper I saw out of my purse. I wrote it down and gave it to him, but he handed it back and said, "You might need this." It was an appointment card for my therapist. FML

#20502338
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22953) - you deserved it (4916)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19pm - love - by sofuckingembarassing. (woman) - United States

Today, the guy I like asked me out for the first time. It's a good thing he did it over Facebook, because I started shaking and almost threw up. I don't know how I'm going to function on our date next week. FML

#20514506
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22932) - you deserved it (5394)

On 02/20/2013 at 2:31am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I finally made a Facebook account after being home-schooled my entire life. I friended people that I know and their friends, and subsequently sparked a debate on whether or not I exist. FML

#20523906
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22884) - you deserved it (3219)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by thepokemonkid - United States (Connecticut)



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