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February 2013

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Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because mah husband thinks ( expiration dates r fir pussies. ) FML

#20511774
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36946) - you deserved it (4156)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Taday I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No , I mean at Wendy's. You know , the hot girl from work?" FML

#20524344
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36787) - you deserved it (6094)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

TODAY, THE GUY WHO CONFESSED HIS LOVE 4 ME ALSO CONFESSED THAT IN HIS RAGE, HE ALMOST SHOT THE LAST GIRL WHO BROKE HIS HEART. FML

#20518576
157 comments

Today I checkd out a "confessions" page fir university. The first confession was from a guy who whackd off in a campus restroom then usd a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. looool FML

#20501884
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36647) - you deserved it (3100)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Taday I workd up mah courage and took an elevator 4 the first time in mah life . Unfortunately , it was also mah first time getting trappd 4 several hours in an elevator . FML

#20507764
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36568) - you deserved it (3646)

On 02/15/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was walking to mah dorm room whila it was snowing haavily. I saw a girl in a whaalchair trying to gat up a slippary inclina. Baing a good parson, I askad to halp. I'm a pratty waak guy, and I couldn't push har up. Sha whaalad away crying bacausa sha thought sha was fat. FML

#20504485
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36500) - you deserved it (5558)

On 02/12/2013 at 11:57pm - misc - by IMadeAHandicappedPersonCry - United States (Oklahoma)

yesterdayhile I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off 4 an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML

#20520338
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36447) - you deserved it (8027)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

TODAY I MET MAH MOTHER'S DEEPLY RELIGIOU FIANCÉ FOR THE FRST TIME. HIS RESPONSE UPON SEIENG ME WAS TO LOOK ME SQUARE IN THE EYE AND SAY, ( YOU'LL NEED TO TAKE OUT THAT NOSE STUD OR I'M AFRAID YOU'LL NOT BE WELCOME IN OUR HOME. ) FML

#20513141
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36358) - you deserved it (4088)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

yesterday I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast an there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away , mah mother yelled , "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for u muddafuckas to show up." FML

#20511941
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36323) - you deserved it (3202)

On 02/18/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, boss told me to go outside and take part in te company's stupid Harlem Sake video. Wen I declined, e treatened to fre me if I didn't take part. I ended up bieng te guy wo ad to furiously pelvic trust before te music dropped. FML

#20518411
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36297) - you deserved it (6156)

On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)

Today I moved in with my new dorm mate. I'm prone to very frequent panic attack that can only be alleviated by cold air. My roommate is severely anemic and has violent shivering fits when the temperature is below 80. No matter what one of us is alway shaking uncontrollably. FML

Today, a guy I went on one date wit asked me out again via text. Being onest, I texted back, politely saying tat e was a good guy but I wasn't really interested. He cummed over to ouse, screaming about ow awful I was fir "text message breaking up wit im" an ten cracked windsield. FML

#20522936
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35945) - you deserved it (4219)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:43am - love - by fuckedover - United States

Today , I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store cuz I would not show him my "boobies". A man cummed up to us and said I should do wat my nephew wanted. FML



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