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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

#20524651
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27706) - you deserved it (2261)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)

Today, my furnace broke down, almost a month after its twenty year warranty expired. It would have been replaced for free. Now I'm going to have to take out a loan to afford the $4,000 replacement. FML

#20500397
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27589) - you deserved it (2408)

On 02/10/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by chillyinside - Canada

Today, my co-worker told me that I need to quit smoking because it was making me look and smell horrible. I've never smoked in my life. FML

#20493545
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27580) - you deserved it (3426)

On 02/04/2013 at 7:42pm - health - by Mattrd - United States

Today, I finally made a Facebook account after being home-schooled my entire life. I friended people that I know and their friends, and subsequently sparked a debate on whether or not I exist. FML

#20523906
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27496) - you deserved it (3662)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by thepokemonkid - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML

#20498469
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27435) - you deserved it (2940)

On 02/08/2013 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML

#20520875
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27405) - you deserved it (3283)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by why the fuck would you do that - United States (Arizona)

Today, at a mixed-family game of rugby, my dad resorted to calling me a "goddamned accident" and eventually body-slamming me, just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML

#20498727
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27324) - you deserved it (2514)

On 02/08/2013 at 8:53pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

#20503655
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27301) - you deserved it (2889)

On 02/12/2013 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my mum came to my ballet class. She spent the whole lesson sitting at the back yelling at me to "stop sticking your butt out". My ballet instructor had to ask her several times to pipe down. FML

#20495701
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27219) - you deserved it (2155)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:57pm - misc - by embarassinggg (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I decided at age 18 that it's time to put into storage the picture books that have been collecting dust in my room for nearly a decade. My mother took this as a sign that I'm planning to move out and abandon her forever, and has been crying for the last four hours. FML

#20490721
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27190) - you deserved it (2508)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:52pm - kids - by NeverEscaping (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized my acne is so bad that the Facebook face recognition could recognize all of my friends in a group photo except me. FML

#20516014
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27092) - you deserved it (3473)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:04am - misc - by SadFace (man) - Singapore

Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML

#20523003
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27065) - you deserved it (9408)

On 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm - animals - by Puppylove (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML

#20501281
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27042) - you deserved it (2564)

On 02/10/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by obsequiousfannyflapper (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)



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