Today, my school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24682) - you deserved it (3874)
On 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24617) - you deserved it (10436)
On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I bought my first house, blowing nearly all my savings on the deposit. I had left myself enough for just a couple of necessary bits of furniture. It turns out the previous owner completely stripped the house when he left, taking the oven and even the toilet with him, amongst other things. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24549) - you deserved it (8212)
On 01/22/2013 at 3:27am - money - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I needed to get a hair cut, so my boyfriend recommended I see his mother, who is a trained and licensed hairdresser. Despite the fact that she hates me, I thought she would be mature and do it nice. She butchered my hair like a toddler does their Barbie, and insists that it "suits me". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24542) - you deserved it (7601)
On 01/23/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by parmetries - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24536) - you deserved it (2890)
On 01/22/2013 at 3:09am - love - by deflower (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24461) - you deserved it (6398)
On 01/29/2013 at 5:56pm - health - by fatty milkshakes - United States
Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24439) - you deserved it (1507)
On 01/16/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by Kallian - United States
Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24384) - you deserved it (1626)
On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States
Today, I was suffering from an asthma attack, so I grabbed my inhaler and took a puff. This was probably very disturbing for the earwig which had somehow made my puffer its home, as I discovered when it shot into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24383) - you deserved it (2017)
On 01/25/2013 at 1:30am - health - by asthmattack (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24368) - you deserved it (2053)
On 01/11/2013 at 5:22pm - misc - by wtf did i do?? (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I walked up sixteen flights of stairs to my room to avoid the lift lines. When I was almost to the top, the fire alarm sounded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24310) - you deserved it (2290)
On 01/16/2013 at 2:02pm - misc - by tired - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24305) - you deserved it (1900)
On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24283) - you deserved it (2622)
On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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