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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

#20449931
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34565) - you deserved it (4883)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:48am - misc - by lovingthis - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see my boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML

#20458512
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34510) - you deserved it (6293)

On 01/14/2013 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34459) - you deserved it (2781)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML

#20445950
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34094) - you deserved it (6920)

On 01/07/2013 at 8:01am - intimacy - by wetsheets (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML

#20453003
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34087) - you deserved it (8981)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:20am - misc - by datingablonde - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was discussing with my husband how it was time I stopped taking birth control so we could have a baby. He looked at me and said sincerely, "We're a little young to be having kids, don't you think?". He's 35 and I'm 32. FML

#20469230
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33849) - you deserved it (4783)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:13am - love - by StillTooYoung (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I saw a lady who had fainted. I ran over to help, only to find out that she was unstable and had a knife in her hand. She was pointing it at me, and growled threateningly every time I tried to move away. It took the cops an hour to defuse the situation. FML

#20484368
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33771) - you deserved it (2414)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:48am - misc - by thegirlofthedad (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, after I finally laid down from a long day and was about to fall asleep, I realized I forgot to set my alarm. I don't own an alarm clock and my alarm is on my phone. Which was in my car. I live on 15th floor of an apartment building and our parking garage is across the street. FML

#20439908
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33698) - you deserved it (9325)

On 01/03/2013 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom went to court to finalize her divorce. I would have felt sorry for her, had this not been her 7th husband. FML

#20476021
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33634) - you deserved it (2683)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by HereWeGoAgain (woman) - United States

Today, I'm getting married. A few months ago, I allowed my mother in-law to take care of catering. She begged to be a part of the wedding, so I gave her the caterer's number and order info. It appears that I will not be eating at my own wedding because she decided to order food I'm allergic to. FML

#20482739
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33430) - you deserved it (6211)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:52am - love - by forever1990 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to buy a $2500 taxidermied wolf on eBay. This is the same guy who refuses to get engaged because it would "cost too much right now." FML

#20487239
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33307) - you deserved it (5373)

On 01/31/2013 at 2:23am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I attended my aunt's open-casket funeral. My sister spent the first quarter of an hour neither grieving nor celebrating her life, but whining that the "cute" clothes my aunt was dressed in could have been handed down to her, instead of being "wasted". FML



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