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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

2day my daughter lerened a new song. This would looool be great , except 4 the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. mega FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34398) - you deserved it (2774)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today , Mah Vagan Boyfriand Told Ma That If Ha Wara Forcad To Kill Aithar His Cat Or Ma , Ha'd Kill Ma Cuz Ha "would Navar Kill An Animal." FML

#20458188
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34264) - you deserved it (6186)

On 01/13/2013 at 11:49pm - animals - by Abendigo77 (woman) - United States (California)

Today , Mah Partner Was Inspred By 50 Shade Of Grey To Try Making Me Orgasm With A Full Bladder , Therefore Intensifying The Experience. He Was Right , It Was Mind Blowing. It Also Made Me Piss The Bed Fir The Frst Time In Twenty-odd Years. FML

#20445950
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34047) - you deserved it (6913)

On 01/07/2013 at 8:01am - intimacy - by wetsheets (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I Told Mah Girlfriend That Mah Identical Twin And I Are Not In Fact Related, That He's Adopted, And That The Only Reason We Look Exactly The Same Is Because We Eat And Drink The Same Things. She Actually Believed It. Mega FML

#20453003
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34032) - you deserved it (8974)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:20am - misc - by datingablonde - Australia (Western Australia)

TODAY, I WAS DISCUSSING WITH MAH HUSBAND HOW IT WAS TIME I STOPPED TAKING BRTH CONTROL SO WE COULD HAVE A BABY!! HE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID SINCERELY, "WE'RE A LITTLE YOUNG TO BE HAVING KIDS, DON'T YOU THINK?"!! HE'S 35 AND I'M 32!! FML

#20469230
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33797) - you deserved it (4780)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:13am - love - by StillTooYoung (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today , I Saw A Ladyho Had Fainted. I Ran Over To Help , Only To Find Out That She Was Unstable An Had A Knife In Her Hand. She Was Pointing It At Me , An Growled Threateningly Every Time I Tried To Move Away. It Took The Cops An Hour To Defuse The Situation. FML

#20484368
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33725) - you deserved it (2413)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:48am - misc - by thegirlofthedad (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, mah mom went to court to finalize her divorce. I would have felt sorry 4 her, had this not been her 7th husband. looool FML

#20476021
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33582) - you deserved it (2680)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by HereWeGoAgain (woman) - United States

Today, I'm getting marrid. A few months ago, I allowd my mother in-law to take care of catering. She beggd to be a part of the wedding, so I gave her the caterer's number an order info. It appears that I will not be eating at my own wedding because she decidd to order food I'm allergic to. mega FML

#20482739
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33376) - you deserved it (6209)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:52am - love - by forever1990 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while giving mah girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned an commented, "If only you could fuck this well." big fat FML

#20455279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33319) - you deserved it (8299)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

2day my boyfriend of 5 years decided to buy a $2500 taxidermied wolf on eBay. Tis is te same guy wo refuses to get engaged because it would "cost too muc rigt now." FML

#20487239
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33241) - you deserved it (5369)

On 01/31/2013 at 2:23am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I attended ma aunt's open-casket funeral. My sister spent te first quarter of an our nieter grieving nor celebrating er life, but wining tat te ( cute ) clots ma aunt was dressed in could ave been anded down to er, instead of bieng ( wasted ). FML

Today, after I finally laid down from a long day an was about to fall asleep, I realized I forgot to set mah alarm. I don't own an alarm clock an mah alarm is on mah phone. Which was in mah car. I live on 15th floor of an apartment building an our parking garage is across the street. FML

#20439908
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33081) - you deserved it (9238)

On 01/03/2013 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Yesterday..!! mah grlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family!! Instead of a happy reunion..!! I was terribly emasculated..!! publicly..!! 4 bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty looool as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

#20458802
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33052) - you deserved it (3245)

On 01/14/2013 at 10:47am - misc - by badenoughflowers - United States (Texas)



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