Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26180) - you deserved it (8142)
On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26133) - you deserved it (10129) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/18/2013 at 6:39am - animals - by dormeur - Sent from mobile version
Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26122) - you deserved it (4192)
On 01/13/2013 at 7:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was discussing with my husband how it was time I stopped taking birth control so we could have a baby. He looked at me and said sincerely, "We're a little young to be having kids, don't you think?". He's 35 and I'm 32. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26076) - you deserved it (3445)
On 01/20/2013 at 8:13am - love - by StillTooYoung (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26056) - you deserved it (2369)
On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)
Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26045) - you deserved it (2772)
On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26007) - you deserved it (2556)
On 01/26/2013 at 12:53am - animals - by Ear Invasion - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to buy a $2500 taxidermied wolf on eBay. This is the same guy who refuses to get engaged because it would "cost too much right now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25952) - you deserved it (3826)
On 01/31/2013 at 2:23am - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, after working the midnight shift at my job, I thought it would be nice to leave a sweet love note along with my boyfriend's favourite candy in his car. Upon finding it, he immediately broke up with me for "breaking into" his car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25946) - you deserved it (4231)
On 01/15/2013 at 7:14am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my girlfriend left for basic training. I went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25916) - you deserved it (4453)
On 01/21/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by blank - United States
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25849) - you deserved it (2452)
On 01/26/2013 at 3:44pm - work - by FUCK THE PIGS (man) - United States (California)
Today, the lead singer of the band I recently joined blatantly admitted to a fan that the only reason he let me in was because I'm "so fuckin' ugly" that I make the rest of them look "ten times better" in comparison. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25820) - you deserved it (2253)
On 01/17/2013 at 3:50pm - misc - by sad drummer (man) - United States (California)
Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25798) - you deserved it (1651)
On 01/02/2013 at 12:38pm - misc - by Megz (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Monday 17 June 2013
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