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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work at a middle school. I've worked here for the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough for my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

#20454196
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34776) - you deserved it (2694)

On 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm - work - by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends (woman) - United States

Today, my husband suggested a way for us to "make some money" off our pregnancy. His great idea? Pregnancy porn. FML

#20456391
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34725) - you deserved it (4157)

On 01/13/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

#20447496
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34586) - you deserved it (5057)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34411) - you deserved it (3622)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States

Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML

#20466682
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34301) - you deserved it (2300)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:18pm - misc - by mel (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, after a long, horrible day at work and some fighting with my family and my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML

#20460946
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33882) - you deserved it (7574)

On 01/15/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me he wanted to learn Korean before Spanish. Apparently, being able to sing along to Gangnam Style is more important to him than being able to speak with my family. FML

#20453278
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33801) - you deserved it (6700)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Latina (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a girl I follow on Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML

#20459715
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33718) - you deserved it (3626)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML

#20458971
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33559) - you deserved it (6452)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:34pm - love - by nkotz - United States

Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML

#20450521
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33437) - you deserved it (5288)

On 01/09/2013 at 6:55pm - love - by GDBeast (man) - United States

Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML

#20460160
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33393) - you deserved it (3055)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML

#20469621
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33372) - you deserved it (3606)

On 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by maybe dead in a day (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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